Quotes from Caprice Crane

Pygmalion made her; then she kicked him in the nuts, ran away, and developed a personality.

One moment follows another. Next comes from previous. So you have to stay on your toes. Protect yourself. Listen to that little voice inside you that says, "Don't do that! You won't like the consequences." Look at all the stuff that's happened to you along the twisting road of your life—good and bad

Sometimes I wish I could be the kind of person who has one-night stands, and instead of feeling guilty about it feels empowered by it. But I'm not.

I didn't want to accept failure. Even though sometimes the strength it takes to admit failure is probably worth as much as the determination not to quit. So there you have, I was stuck fighting for a relationship with a boyfriend who, in truth be told, I'd rather forget ever existed.

What made pigs different? Why were they bred for food and held in captivity, while dogs and cats were welcomed into our homes and treated like family? Aside from physicality, we could see no difference between her and our dogs.

When Nirvana came onto the scene, they pretty much saved music.

The handcuffs are still on me, and they're uncomfortable, to say the least. I have no idea how people willingly use these things during sex, but please continue to count me out.

Know the hazards of lending and borrowing with friends.

I simply never found a specific club that I could bring myself to be passionate about. I was having enough trouble finding one person to be passionate about, let alone a whole club!

Thank you," she says and yanks the pull-tab off the soda can. She takes a big sip and aaahs. Then she takes the pull-tab and puts it on her ring finger like a wedding band. She holds her hand out and looks at it. "Someday," she says wistfully. "Wow, a soda pop pull-tab ring. You're easy. Most girls want their ring from Tiffany's." "Well, I'm not most girls." She's telling me?

Ever think about how much that sucks? Sunday is the weekend, but it's also a school night. Kind of ruins the whole day. Like if you get quiet enough on a Sunday night, you can almost hear Monday taunting you with the theme from Jaws .

It's probably those lactose-intolerant freaks. We all know there's nothing cool about intolerance.

It wasn't until later, when I was lying in bed, alone with my thoughts,that I felt uneasy feeling return. This is why you should never be alone with your thoughts, I thought. You thoughts are shitty company. They eat all the pizza and don't help clean up and they make you get all freaked out about the future.

Oh, and by the way, Bed Bath & Beyond: Beyond? Really? Beyond? There is no Beyond! There's Kitchen! Beyond is Kitchen! You're Bed Bath & Kitchen! That's what you are! I don't give a crap if it's not alliterative!

Actually saying OMG out loud should only happen if you're being ironic or asking your phone for directions to the Oklahoma Meerkat Gardens.

This girl did not scream 'cheerleader' at first glance. Or fourteenth.

I was on fire - or whatever the equivalent of 'on fire' is when you're 'in water'. ( En fuego sounds awesome. En agua , not so much. No offense, Michael Phelps. Or Aquaman. Or Nemo.)

Skyler watched Xan approach with the look of a child being spoon-fed spinach. You can make all the airplane noises you want to, Mom, but it's not gonna make that green crap any more appetizing.

you don't have to tear down others to build yourself up

your success doesn't depend upon the failure of others

People make changes in their life, and they blend and assimilate. They find a way to make it work. That's where I've always taken the wrong turn. By not taking a turn at all.