Quotes from Josh Stern

I love shark week, all kids swim for free

Y'know when your dog drags its butt across the carpet leaving a stain- It's not as easy as it looks..."

It's always darkest before you're blinded by the light

Never send a Man in to do a Donkey's job

If America runs on Dunkin', do I detect a slight limp?

Those who forget history are doomed to repeat it in summer school

When it comes to exacting revenge, it gets harder and harder to top yourself each successive time

I always splash on the cologne before a blind date because dogs can smell fear

It is amazing what you can accomplish if you do not care who gets the blame

If you know how to open doors with just a smile, you must need your teeth capped every six months

Some people drip wax on themselves like a human chianti bottle to see if they feel anything….but getting a wicker basket to fit them is a fiasco

If you love somebody set them free- it also works equally well if you hate somebody

Women, can't live with them, can't murder/suicide without them

Women are aroused by the strangest things, like a rock going through their bedroom window