Quotes from Lois Greiman, Unplugged

Excuses are like butt holes everyone has 'em and they all stink.

If money don't buy happiness, what the hell does?

Matrimony and firefighting. They ain't for cowards.

A friend is someone who will bike to the ice cream shop with you, even when you don't look so good.

Let us talk about oxymoron, common sense, for instance.

Lust and love. They both put a fire in your damn shorts.

Celibacy sucks, no pun intended.

I'd rather be pissed off then pissed on.

It is far better to know the painful truth than to live with a kindly falsehood.

Sometimes stupid is crime enough.

Men have two outstanding features--their brains and their genitalia. Unfortunately, both rarely function simultaneously.

There are lots of fish in the sea. Some are sharks, some are angels, and some are bottom feeders.

Love makes the world go around, but so does a gallon of vodka and a box of Cuban cigars.