Quotes from Lois Greiman, Unzipped

A pigs and pain, until you really get to know 'em. Then he's a paid with the soul.

Analyzing dreams is much like walking on water. There are a limited number of people who do it well.

Booze and boys, ain't nothing in the universe that'll make a girl stupid faster.

Maybe knowledge is power, but it's damned hard to think a burglar to death.

Some men are warriors and some men are weenies. The trick is figuring out which is which.

Maybe life does suck, Pork Chop, but it beats the hell out of the alternative.

Just when you think you have life by the tail, it's likely to whip around and take a hunk outta your balls.

There is no greater hell than realizing you're in love with the guy you hate.

You lose a couple of pounds and get a guy good and drunk, you could have a hell of a good time even if you are not smart.

The theory of relativity doesn't amount to a hill of beans when there's a bonfire in your shorts.

Fair play is all well and good. But knowing how to kick 'em in the balls can get you out of a jam 9 times out of 10.

Just remember this, Missy, escargot ain't nothin' but snails with their noses stuck in the air.

If I want to catch the damn worm I get outta bed.

Maybe curiosity did kill your cat. But it wouldn't hurt to keep an eye on the neighbor's rottweiler just the same.

Even choosing the perfect dinner wine loses its earth-shattering importance if your guests happen to be cannibals, and you, the unsuspecting entree.

Some people are street-smart, some people are book-smart, but most people are just dumber than dirt.

Life is what you make it. Unless some guy finds you with his girl. Then the ball's pretty much in his court.