Quotes from Ilya Ilf

Clearly it's not all that pacific on the Pacific Ocean

This (San Francisco) is the most beautiful city in America, Probably because it looks nothing like America

A Spaniard and a Pole worked in the barbershop where we got our hair cut. An Italian shined our shoes. A Croat washed our car. This was America.

There will be no beautiful widow with Persian eyes sitting at your grave. And teary-eyed kids won't be asking: "Papa, papa, can you hear us?

Everyone drank to popular education and to the irrigation of Uzbekistan.