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Quotes from Stewart Lee Beck

As a reformed procrastinator, I'm now getting things done in the first 10 seconds of the last minute.
~ Stewart Lee Beck
I can't seem to recall if I've ever had amnesia before.
~ Stewart Lee Beck
My partner and I were going to renew our vowels, but the consonants revolted.
~ Stewart Lee Beck
Is it a lucky break if you get run over by an ambulance?
~ Stewart Lee Beck