Quotes from Jane Isay

So let's allow ourselves to imagine that the attention and love we give our grandchildren can help them grow and eventually help to mend our troubled world.

Today, as I walked my dog on a cool clear morning, I realized that if I live long enough, I may see my grandchildren grow into adults. Someday they might become my young friends. This hope keeps me going. Jane Isay

The stories that travel down through the years nurture our descendants long after we're gone. We contribute to this continuity by the acceptance we offer and the time we share. It's our immortality.

Today, as I walked my dog on a cool clear morning, I realized that if I live long enough, I may see my grandchildren grow into adults. Someday they might become my young friends. This hope keeps me going.

Some revelations stop relationships in their tracks. But others reveal the true person in our midst, the imperfect, limping, and often loving soul we cared about so much. And so we continue to care, and together we rebuild, this time slowly, on a foundation of truth. We can build a house together, or a home, or a beautiful garden that is nourished by acceptance.

The attitude of neutrality allows grandparents to listen to the teenager without the emotional baggage their parents carry. And if we listen carefully, we may be able to glimpse what the teenager is going through.

It's also a nodding truth that these close relationships are built one on one. Time alone with a grandchild is golden. The flow of love is unmediated because there are no distractions. Attention is complete.

The current vogue in child development is to focus on noncognitive skills: self-regulation, grit, and the ability to process stress. Loving attention from adults is essential to the development of these traits.

Mindful of the boundaries between us and our grown children, we make the effort to take the differences between us less personally

I learned this especially from sons and daughters of men who were abusive fathers. Once these fathers stopped drinking and raging, and showed that they wanted a loving relationship with their children, the grown kids I spoke with were eager to take them back into their lives.

Unconditional love is the magic bridge that spans the generations: we love them unconditionally, and they love us back without reservations. It's a two-way experience. It grows the children and gentles the grandparents.

My happiest moments are when all my children are okay. That's just how life is. We've all been through it ourselves. It is hard, because you are so bon of their bone, skin of their skin. You feel things so strongly, if you are truly a loving parent.

My happiest moments are when all my children are okay. That's just how life is. We've all been through it ourselves. It is hard, because you are so bone of their bone, skin of their skin. You feel things so strongly, if you are truly a loving parent.

What's the difference between encouragement from parents and from grandparents? When the nonjudgmental sense of being accepted as you are-not as your parents want or as your peers require- radiates from the gaze of a grandparent, it's a confidence builder.

I love my life as a writer and mapmaker of family relationships.

The elder generation may also take the opportunity to grow. Becoming a grandparent is the crowning event for many people, so why should it present a challenge? Because the rules are about to change, and promoting harmony in the family under new circumstances takes patience and modesty. It requires that the elder generation adopt a long view.