Quotes from E. James Wilder

If our perception of God's character is distorted due to our own experiences of life's disappointments and our own histories of trauma, then having an all-seeing and always-present God could be stifling and produce fear instead of love and trust.

Three professional experiences – one striking conclusion: Students grow in their faith through relationships, wounded people heal in relationships, and unbelievers come to the Lord through relationships.

It takes maturity and tenacity on our part to achieve wholeness, and that means persistently dealing with our pain.

Sometimes we fail to enjoy living in an Immanuel reality due to a distorted per 9 ception of God's character.

In fact, some neurologists now say that the basic human need is to be the "sparkle in someone's eye." When you catch a glimpse of a child's face as she runs toward an awaiting parent with arms outstretched in unrestrained joy, you can witness firsthand that incredible power that comes from "being the sparkle in someone's eye.

Traumas not only cause injury and pain, traumas block or slow the process of maturity.

One sign that you have found the characteristics of your heart is when your passion, purpose, talents and pain all come together and begin defining who you are.

The joy of being with others at school, or finding protection from authority figures was lost. Being very small and hurt, with no way to protect himself, he began to behave defiantly against the principal, who punished him abusively.

As we mentioned in Chapter 1, the loss of relational connection is often caused by incompletely resolved pain. The mental activity of avoiding pain distracts us from relational connection with God and others. Being overwhelmed disconnects us.

God knows our history. No matter how insightful a therapist may be or wise a friend is, only God can ultimately know the intricacies of our lives and experiences. His eyes never leave us, and He knows us better than we know ourselves.

Being seen by God empowers us to suffer well in our painful situations without being overwhelmed. Our lives can be productive. The God who saw the pain and misery of the Israelites and Hagar is able to see the pain and challenges we go through today.

I am glad to be with you and treat your weakness tenderly.

The recognition of God's presence in each traumatic memory makes it no longer traumatic, but healing and hopeful.