Quotes from Alfred Ells

Be quick to forgive (Matt. 18:21–35).

The unresolved painful experiences of our past lead us to make unhealthy decisions in the future.

BIRGing, which stands for basking in reflected glory.

they refuse to cry, because they don't ever want to feel again the anguish and the pain they've locked away inside. Abused individuals often don't cry for the same reason.

As a leader, you must choose wisely with whom you will socialize. Friendship with a subordinate or congregant can be a blessing or a trap fraught with dangers.

Not that I have already obtained this or am already perfect, but I press on to make it my own, because Christ Jesus has made me his own. Philippians 3:12 ESV

As a leader, you need to keep the main thing—the mission

Do not go to your brother's house in the day of your calamity; better is a neighbor who is near than a brother far away. Proverbs 27:10

Friendships make all the difference in surviving the inevitable crises of leadership.

Low trust is the greatest cost in life and in organizations, including families. Low trust creates hidden agendas, politics, interpersonal conflict, interdepartmental rivalries, win-lose thinking, defensive and protective communication.

What makes a good life?" According to Waldinger, the Harvard research project shows that "good relationships keep us happier and healthier.

anger in a leader rarely produces good results.

A brother offended is harder to win than a strong city, and contentions are like the bars of a castle" (Prov. 18:19 NKJV).

He who is slow to anger is better than the mighty, and he who rules his spirit, than he who captures a city. Proverbs 16:32

The consummate model for a safe person is Jesus. He was a perfect blend of honesty, compassion, and commitment.

By nature, critical people are inclined to find fault or to judge others with severity and often too readily.

Critical people can be toxic, foment gossip, and undermine your efforts.

Storms often come with high stakes, so mishandling a crisis situation can have lifelong repercussions.

Two are better than one because they have a good return for their labor. Ecclesiastes 4:9

The longer I live the more convinced I become that life is 10 percent what happens to us and 90 percent how we respond to it.

You can more easily partner with God instead of making the situation worse by reacting emotionally.

Anger also prompts self-justifying thoughts that minimize or deny our contribution to the conflict and shift the blame to the other party. That's why we so often foolishly go to war instead of going to God with the problem.

The presence of anger is an indication that something is seriously wrong. But instead of lashing out in anger, we need to face our fears and shame, take them to God, and be healed.

Don't fight it out to the bitter end, or the end will most certainly be bitter.