Quotes from Rich Hall

Good things come to those who wait, but shit pretty much shows up right away, doesn't it?

A hotel mini bar allows you to see what a can of Pepsi will cost in twenty years.

As an American, I'd like to apologize-for everything.

If you do not have the innate ability to seek out someone's work on your own, and you have to wait for Hollywood to do it for you, then you are some sort of hillside grazer of culture; you are a sheep, a cow, what is biologically classified as a ruminant...Fuck you.

In Montana, a policeman will pull you over because he is lonely.

Hope?! Hope is a bit desperate, isn't it? Hope is right below wishful thinking and right above performing a rain dance.

Not many musicians can get 10000 people to show up and help pay his back taxes, and when farmers are going broke and transatlantic pipelines need to be stopped and towns are blown up in fertilizer explosions or schools for impaired children need to be built, Willie shows up. Does the show for free. For three hours. Everyone has a good time, and somewhere, Bono squirms just a little bit on that self-righteous cross he's nailed himself to.

Ignisecond, n.: The overlapping moment of time when the hand is locking the car door even as the brain is saying, "my keys are in there!"

Women say they want a man who knows what a woman's worth. That's a pimp.

When you go to work, if your name is on the building, you're rich. If your name is on your desk, you're middle class. And if your name is on your shirt, you're poor.

The act, when vacuuming, of running over a string at least a dozen times, reaching over and picking it up, examining it, then putting it back down to give the vacuum one more chance.

The metallic silver coating found on fast-food game cards.