Quotes from David Stafford

Alcoholism is above all a disease of denial.

Resist trying to be what other people want you to be. Anyone in your life who tries to change you is really saying: as I can't control myself I will try and control you. By the same token, don't attempt to control other people's behaviour - it's not your place.

If you ever feel the person in your life needs rescuing, particularly from him or herself - beware. Codependency is rearing its head again.

Non-alcoholic ways in which parents may not 'be there' for the children can include: - violence and sexual abuse - workholism - gambling - transquilliser addiction- - womanizing - frequent journeys abroad - death - suicide - being unemployed or unemployable - frequent hospitalisation - mental or physical handicap - excessive religiosity - rigid rules and regulations - homes where children are never allowed to be themselves but must always be pleasing to adults

Recovery [from codependency] may not always be comfortable at first for the other people in one's life. But it is always worth it because, actually, nobody ever respects a 'doormat'.

Whenever you feel compelled to put others first at the expense of yourself, you are denying your own reality, your own identity.

But codependency is inappropriate, over-the-top loyalty, caring and supportiveness.