Quotes About BPD

There are distinct mood changes with borderline individuals that may be experienced as very alien or disconnected to the client. The loss of memory associated with DID, however, does not occur in BPD, and the mood changes do not constitute a change in personality to the extent that a part of the psyche takes control of the body outside the individual's consciousness.

In sum, our findings suggest that narcissistic pathology in the context of BPD may be a protective factor that helps narcissistic patients to stay in treatment, limit self-destructiveness, and contain disorganization in the face of early traumatic attachment experiences

The borderline's split view of himself includes a special, entitled part and an angry, unworthy part that masochistically deserves punishment, although he may not be consciously aware of one side or the other. In fact, a pattern of this type of "invited" victimization is often a solid indication of BPD pathology. Although

affective instability, emotional dysregulation, and interpersonal sensitivity has little resemblance to classical depression. It is also the key feature of BPD

Owing to a poorly defined sense of self, people with BPD rely on others for their feelings of worth and emotional caretaking. So fearful are they of feeling alone that they may act in desperate ways that quite frequently bring about the very abandonment and rejection they're trying to avoid.

Certainly, it's important to acknowledge and identify the effects of BPD on your life. It's equally important to realize that it neither dictates who you are nor fixes your destiny.

Adult children of a BPD parent] may seem old before their time or like an old soul (and probably were that way as children too.) They may easily assume the role of fixer and nurturer. They're the ones friends lean on, the ones to whom people tell their problems. Helping others gives them a sense of purpose and worth.

Parents with BPD may not accept responsibility for their behavior, nor he willing to listen to how they might have caused emotional or physical harm. If you try to point out their behavior, they may lash out with an abusive tirade or stone-cold silence, attempting to place blame on you instead ("If

Therapists sometimes warn family members not to depend on the person with BPD to validate their self-worth, yet young children have no choice. They can and will do anything to hold onto the good mother (the loving, caring person) who unpredictably turns into the Witch mother (the terrifying, raging beast).

People with BPD tend to judge themselves and others in extreme ways. They will often use excessively positive terms, idealizing or glorifying, or excessively negative terms, demonizing or devaluing themselves or others. They look at themselves with harsh and critical negative self-judgments that increase their sense of shame.

People with BPD spend a great deal of their emotional energy worrying about past pain or potential future problems. "If I do that, this will happen." Dwelling on the past or the future prevents you from focusing on the present.

People with BPD are usually burdened with strong feelings of worthlessness and shame that are not necessarily supported by the facts of actual situations.

It is not necessary to get into a fight with someone because you feel angry; aggressive behavior does not have to be a knee-jerk response to anger. By practicing mindfulness, people with BPD can learn to slow themselves down and have more control over how they will respond.

Imagine feeling empty, virtually without a self. Now think about admitting that what little self you can recognize has something wrong with it. To many people with BPD, this is like ceasing to exist—a terrifying feeling for anyone.

There's another key aspect to this splitting: people with BPD also split themselves, often into victim or hero—or into someone capable or someone incompetent.

Borderlines may need to feel in control of other people because they feel so out of control with themselves. In addition, they may be trying to make their own world more predictable and manageable. People with BPD may unconsciously try to control others by putting them in no-win situations, creating chaos that no one else can figure out, or accusing others of trying to control them.

Conversely, some people with BPD may cope with feeling out of control by giving up their own power; for example, they may choose a lifestyle where all choices are made for them, such as the military or a cult, or they may align themselves with abusive people who try to control them through fear.

People with BPD look to others to provide things they find difficult to supply for themselves, such as self-esteem, approval, and a sense of identity. Most of all, they are searching for a nurturing caregiver whose never-ending love and compassion will fill the black hole of emptiness and despair inside them.

When you set and observe personal limits, you are also benefiting the person in your life with BPD. In fact, when you let the BP violate your boundaries, or do not set any for him or her, you may be making the situation worse.

Don't counterattack. You may strike back at the person with BPD to try to win the argument or vent your feelings. But when you do this, you'll fall into the projection and projective identification trap that the person with BPD has unconsciously set for you.

So I decided to write my own self-help book. Because BPD affects six million people in North America, I figured that at least eighteen million family members, partners, and friends—like me—were blaming themselves for behavior that had little to do with them.

If, as is more likely, your loved one has the unconventional form of BPD, they may insist that everyone else is the problem. They will have no interest in therapy, and they will be verbally and emotionally abusive. There is a 99 percent chance that they will DARVO: deny, attack, reverse, claim victimhood, and make you into the offender.

They may then try to cope in ways that do not work, or that even make the situation worse. Meanwhile, the unhealthy behaviors of the person with BPD get reinforced, because others accept responsibility for the feelings and actions that actually belong to the person with the disorder.

Remember, your loved one's behavior is not about you. You may feel controlled or taken advantage of through threats, no-win situations, the silent treatment, rages, and other methods that seem unfair. But, no matter what the person with BPD may say, everything that's going on stems not from you, but from the disorder, and the deep pain your loved one feels inside.