Quotes About Defectiveness

Your parents' love for you was conditional on your meeting high standards. 2. One or both parents were models of high, unbalanced standards. 3. Your Unrelenting Standards developed as a way to compensate for feelings of defectiveness, social exclusion, deprivation, or failure. 4. One or both parents used shame or criticism when you failed to meet high expectations.

Alex consistently distorts or misperceives situations so that they reinforce his lifetrap. His view of situations is inaccurate: he feels people are attacking and humiliating him even when they are not. He has a strong bias to interpret events as proving he is defective, exaggerating the negative and minimizing the positive.

Brandon tries to escape his feelings of defectiveness. With Escape, we avoid thinking about our lifetrap. We push it out of our minds. We also escape feeling our lifetrap. When feelings are generated, we dampen them down. We take drugs, or overeat, or compulsively clean, or become a workaholic. And we avoid entering situations that might activate our lifetrap. In fact, our thoughts, feelings, and behaviors work as if the lifetrap never existed.

Aristotle said. "We should regard women's nature as suffering from natural defectiveness." And Saint Thomas in his turn decreed that woman was an "incomplete man," an "incidental" being.

You practically do not use semicolons at all. This is a symptom of mental defectiveness, probably induced by camp life.

The cause of the party's defectiveness must be found. All our principles were right, but our results were wrong. This is a diseased century. We diagnosed the disease… but wherever we applied the healing knife a new sore appeared. Our will was hard and pure, we should have been loved by the people. But they hate us. Why are we so odious and detested?

If a perfect person from the planet Mars landed and discovered that Earthlings got tired and grew old, that person would feel pity and astonishment. Without ever understanding what was good about being human, in feeling tired, in giving out daily; only the initiated would comprehend this subtlety of defectiveness and this refinement of life.

New York's ghosts are the unresting souls of the poor, the marginal, the dispossessed, the depraved, the defective, the recalcitrant. They are the guardian spirits of the urban wilderness in which they lived and died.

But when the feeling of shame is violated by a coercive and perfectionistic religion and culture—especially by shame-based source figures who mediate religion and culture—it becomes an all-embracing identity. A person with internalized shame believes he is inherently flawed, inferior and defective.Such a feeling is so painful that defending scripts (or strategies) are developed to cover it up. These scripts are the roots of violence, criminality, war and all forms of addiction.

It's difficult to let someone get close to you if you feel defective and flawed as a human being. Shame-based couples maintain nonintimacy through poor communication, nonproductive circular fighting, games, manipulation, vying for control, withdrawal, blaming and confluence. Confluence is the agreement never to disagree. Conflulence creates pseudointimacy.

The critic's black-and-white assessment is: "Either I'm cured or I'm still hopelessly defective." And once you identify with your critic's pronouncement of defectiveness, you are off and spiraling downward into a full-fledged flashback - captured once again in the ice veneer of toxic shame that freezes one in the Cptsd stranglehold of helplessness and hopelessness