Quotes About Boundaries

There are places in my heart...where no living soul...has...or can ever...trespass.

Holding on to conditional beliefs about how people should behave toward you because of all you do for them will only set you up to feel disappointment, anger, and resentment to people in particular as well as disillusionment about others in general

When we do not put our primary emotional energy into solving our own problems, we take on other people's problems as our own.

NOT EVERYTHING IS FORGIVABLE Accepting an apology doesn't always mean reconciliation. The best apology in the world can't restore every connection. The words "I'm sorry" may be absurdly inadequate even if sincerely offered. Sometimes the foundation of trust on which a relationship was built cannot be repaired. We may never want to see the person who hurt us again. We can still accept the apology.

Our goal will be to have relationships with both men and women that do not operate at the expense of the self, and to have a self that does not operate at the expense of the other.

Remember that women have a long legacy of assuming responsibility for other people's feelings and for caring for others at the expense of the self. Some of us may care for others by picking up their dirty socks or doing their "feeling work"; some by being less strong, self-directed, and competent than we can be so as to avoid threatening those important to us. Changing our legacy is possible but not easy. Think small to begin with, but think.

Separateness" does not mean emotional distance, which is simply one means of managing anxiety or emotional intensity. Rather, separateness refers to the preservation of the "I" within the "we" - the ability to acknowledge and respect differences and to achieve authenticity within the context of connectedness.

A marital therapist recently teased me, "Are you writing another book to help women speak up? I'm trying to help my clients be quiet." Then she said more seriously, "Why do people think they have to tell each other everything they feel?

The more we carve out a clear and separate "I," the more we can experience and enjoy both intimacy and aloneness.

We can operate from a solid position of self, even when the other person won't speak to us at all.

Keep the lines of communication open in the family without inviting others to blame or take sides in your battles. It's

how we may be too responsible for another person and, at the same time, not responsible enough for our own behavior.

EÄŸer öfkemizi, giriÅŸtiÄŸimiz tüm önemli iliÅŸkilerde kendimizi aç?kça tan?mlamak için kullanmaz -ve duygular?m?zla olduklar? gibi baÅŸa ç?kmazsak- bu sorumluluÄŸu bizim yerimize üstlenecek baÅŸka birisi olmayacakt?r.

At the simplest level, "being a self" means we can be pretty much who we are in relationships rather than what others wish, need, and expect us to be. It also means we can allow others to do the same. It means we do not participate in relationships at the expense of the "I".

Constitutional rights do not always have easily ascertainable boundaries, and controversy over the meaning of our Nation's most majestic guarantees frequently has been turbulent. As judges, however, we are sworn to uphold the law even when its content gives rise to bitter dispute.

You can't control the natures of other people, but you can control how you'll deal with them. And you can also control the extent and manner in which you'll be involved with them.

You'll know that whatever happens isn't your problem because you no longer have the responsibility to see that others do what they should.

Freedom from exploitation is perhaps the easiest freedom to get. All you have to do is to stop participating in any relationship — of any kind — that doesn't suit you. It

Love is too valuable to allow it to be killed by marriage, social pressures, or any other restriction.

And when someone accuses you of being selfish, just remember that he's upset only because you aren't doing what he selfishly wants you to do.

A man has to know his limitations.

There ought to be a law against the sun rising and setting for you in somebody else.

Boundaries have to be continuously sealed off, but it's a hopeless job, for everything touches everything else in this world. A beginning never disappears, not even with an ending.

Misschien is fictie het net waarin hij gevangen kan worden.