Quotes About Boundaries

I think you have to be a little bit strict. You can't be friend and their parent in a lot of situations, especially in this day and age where it's so dangerous for kids. So there's a bit of sternness, I guess, in the way I raise my kids.

There are people who want to be on their own, to mark out their own territory and be quiet there, and there are people who are eager to invade that territory, to sit close to someone else.

It is shocking how little it has been necessary to defend the sheer reach of the attention merchant into the entirety of our lived experience. Formerly the state of technology imposed its own limits, but at a time when these limits have been effectively eliminated, it is for us to ask some fundamental questions: Do we draw any lines between the private and the commercial? If so, what times and spaces should we consider as too valuable, personal, or sacrosanct for the usual onslaught?

Poisonous people do not deserve your time. To think otherwise is masochistic.

Make your peace with the fact that saying 'no' often requires trading popularity for respect." —Greg McKeown, Essentialism

people, even good people, will unknowingly abuse your time to the extent that you let them. Set good rules for all involved to minimize back-and-forth and meaningless communication.

If you must play, decide on three things at the start: the rules of the game, the stakes, and the quitting time. —CHINESE PROVERB

Exact numbers aren't needed to realize that we spend too much time with those who poison us with pessimism, sloth, and low expectations of themselves and the world. It is often the case that you have to fire certain friends or retire from particular social circles to have the life you want. This isn't being mean; it is being practical. Poisonous people do not deserve your time. To think otherwise is masochistic.

I've even been known to go to bed while my guests are still partying.

But I will say this: the more clear I am about what my goals are, the more easily I can say no.

Para desarrollar tus aptitudes en un principio, aprendes a establecer prioridades; para conservar tus facultades debes defenderte de las prioridades de los demás.

The World Doesn't Need Your Explanation. On Saying "No":

Out on the edge you see all kinds of things you can't

Part of knowing who you are is knowing who you're not.

Create slack, as no one will give it to you.

Do not expect work to fill a void that non-work relationships and activities should.

The World Doesn't Need Your Explanation. On Saying "No": "I don't give explanations anymore, and I'll catch myself when I start giving explanations like 'Oh, I'm sorry, I can't make it. I have a doctor's appointment that day. I'm really sick. I broke my leg over the weekend' or something. I just say, 'I can't do it. I hope everything is well.

Who is causing me stress disproportionate to the time I spend with them? What will happen if I simply stop interacting with these people? Fear-setting helps here.

The easiest way to avoid being overwhelmed is to create positive constraints: put up walls that dramatically restrict whatever it is that you're trying to do.

Hazte a la idea de que decir que no a menudo exige cambiar popularidad por respeto.

Not my circus. Not my monkeys.

If you stress-test the boundaries and experiment with the "impossibles," you'll quickly discover that most limitations are a fragile collection of socially reinforced rules you can choose to break at any time.

People-pleasing is a form of assholery,

I have become better at saying no to things and people (including friends and family) that drain my energy. This isn't easy, especially if you are a people-pleaser.