Quotes About Computer

Proving nothing, said Ford. I wouldn't trust that computer to speak my weight. I can do that for you, sure, enthused the computer, punching out more ticker tape. I can even work out your personality problems to ten decimal places if it will help.

Impact minus twenty seconds, guys . . ." said the computer. "Then turn the bloody engines back on!" bawled Zaphod. "Oh, sure thing, guys," said the computer.

What have you done to it, Monkeyman? - he breathed. - Well, - said Arthur, - nothing in fact. It's just that I think a short while ago it was trying to work out how to... - Yes? - Make me some tea. - That's right guys, - the computer sang out suddenly, - just coping with that problem right now, and wow, it's a biggy. Be with you in a while. It lapsed back into a silence that was only matched for sheer intensity by the silence of the three people staring at Arthur Dent.

The computer started to sing. "'When you walk through the storm …'" it whined nasally, "'hold your head up high …'" Zaphod screamed at it to shut up, but his voice was lost in the din of what they quite naturally assumed was approaching destruction.

Simple. I got very bored and depressed, so I went and plugged myself in to its external computer feed. I talked to the computer at great length and explained my view of the Universe to it," said Marvin. "And what happened?" pressed Ford. "It committed suicide," said Marvin, and stalked off back to the Heart of Gold.

Of course, the computer isn't any of these things. These are all things we were previously familiar with from the real world, which we have modelled in the computer so that we can use the damn thing. Which should tell us something interesting. The computer is actually a modelling device.

Impact minus twenty seconds, guys …" said the computer. "Then turn the bloody engines back on!" bawled Zaphod. "Oh, sure thing, guys," said the computer. With a subtle roar the engines cut back in, the ship smoothly flattened out of its dive and headed back toward the missiles again.

A slow stupefied silence crept over the men as they stared at the computer and then at each other.

So what we have arrived at here—and although the first shock wave of this arrival was in 1859, it's really the arrival of the computer that demonstrates it unarguably to us—is "Is there really a universe that is not designed from the top downward, but from the bottom upward? Can complexity emerge from lower levels of simplicity?

Hi there! This is Eddie, your shipboard computer, and I'm feeling just great, guys, and I know I'm just going to get a bundle of kicks out of any program you care to run through me.

Infinity minus one," chattered the computer. "Improbability sum now complete.

On prehistoric Earth he had lived in a cave, not a nice cave, a lousy cave, but . . . There was no but. It had been a totally lousy cave and he had hated it. But he had lived in it for five years, which made it a home of some kind, and a person likes to keep track of his homes. Arthur Dent was such a person and so he went to Exeter to buy a computer.

Will you open up the exit hatch, please, computer?

Presumably he would know what the Question to the Ultimate Answer is. It's always bothered me that we never found out." "Think of a number," said the computer, "any number.

That's very good thinking, you know. Turn on the Improbability Drive for a second without first activating the proofing screens. Hey, kid, you just saved our lives, you know that?" "Oh," said Arthur, "well, it was nothing really …." "Was it?" said Zaphod. "Oh well, forget it then. Okay, computer, take us in to land." "But …" "I said forget it.

I talked to the computer at great length and explained my view of the Universe to it,' said Marvin. 'And what happened?' pressed Ford. 'It committed suicide,' said Marvin

He wanted something that nobody other than the computer would notice: that was the bit that took thirty seconds. The thing that took three minutes thirty was programming the computer not to notice that it had noticed anything. It had to want not to know about what Ford was up to, and then he could safely leave the computer to rationalize its own defenses against the information's ever emerging.

I think computers ought to have a key called I'M DRUNK, and when you push it, it prevents you from sending email for twelve hours. I've got another one: a key called FUCK OFF. You press it every time your computer does something annoying -- in turn this would somehow force your computer to experience pain. And if you pushed SHIFT/FUCK OFF, you'd end up with FUCK OFF AND DIE, the computer equivalent of a razor being raked across your nipples.

The three-million-dollar Omega-9 Parallel Processing Computer, which took up a series of large gray boxes along one wall, was now completely silent.

I know there's a proverb which that says 'To err is human,' but a human error is nothing to what a computer can do if it tries.

There's a lot of music that sounds like it's literally computer-generated, totally divorced from a guy sitting down at an instrument.

You want to change something in a computer? Just type over or delete the existing material. You want to change something in a mind? Forget it.

I don't know how many of you have ever met Dijkstra, but you probably know that arrogance in computer science is measured in nano-Dijkstras.

Information tech in the era of the personal computer and network is today's equivalent of a Love Bug that not only works but creates a new image of work that allows corporate and other organizational cultures to imagine a cool new vision of themselves. Information technology, in other words, is an institutional desiring engine.