Quotes About Attachment

belonging and being loved are core to the human experience. We are a social species; we are meant to be in community—emotionally, socially, and physically interconnected with others.

Connectedness regulates and rewards us.

When the attentive and responsive adult comes to the crying infant, two very important things happen. The baby feels the pleasure of being regulated after being distressed—and also experiences the sight, smell, touch, sound, and movement of human interaction.

when you are an attentive, attuned, and responsive caregiver to these little ones, you're literally weaving together this powerful three-part association—you're building a healthy root system for the Tree of Regulation. Furthermore, as we talked about earlier, these bonding experiences create the infant's worldview about humans. A consistent, nurturing caregiver builds an internal view that people are safe, predictable, and caring. Oprah:

What we call "cuteness" is actually an evolutionary adaptation that helps ensure that parents will care for their children, that babies will get their needs met, and that parents will take on this seemingly thankless task with pleasure.

En realidad, no puedes quererte a ti mismo si no has sido y eres querido. No es posible construir la capacidad de amar de forma aislada.

where a patient projects his feelings about his parents into other relationships, particularly the one he has with his therapist—be explained by examining the function of the brain?

The earliest relational experiences are the most powerful and enduring.

If a child has RAD, the lack of connection and attachment goes both ways. There is a reciprocal neurobiology to human relationships—our "mirror neurons" create this. As a result, these children are difficult to work with because their lack of interest in other people and their inability to empathize makes them hard to like. Interacting with them feels empty, not engaging. Stephanie shouldn't

What this also means is that early experiences will necessarily have a far greater impact than later ones.

relationships are absolutely key. For the infant, the relationship with primary caregivers is the foundation of their capacity for all future relationships.

Dismissive caregiving can lead to an unquenchable thirst for love. You cannot love if you have not been loved.

Yes! How were you loved—it makes all the difference. In all the conversations I've had, my experience has been that dysfunction shows up in direct proportion to how you were or were not loved.

This is where the sequence of engagement comes in. Without some degree of regulation, it is difficult to connect with another person, and without connection, there is minimal reasoning. Regulate, relate, then reason.

The Boy Who Was Raised as a Dog: And Other Stories from a Child Psychiatrist's Notebook

Even if it's a really nice, kind, respectful person entering the child's life, it takes a long time for the child to make sense of the shift and get back to a calm, regulated state.

And so, when you are an attentive, attuned, and responsive caregiver to these little ones, you're literally weaving together this powerful three-part association - you're building a healthy root system for the Tree of Regulation.

las fuerzas o las vulnerabilidades genéticas se ven aumentadas o mitigadas en el contexto de las primeras relaciones de un niño.

The loving sensations provided by the adult caregiver start to become associated with pleasure. In thousands of moments, when the caregivers respond to the needs of the infant, the brain is connecting relationship to reward and regulation.

A consistent, nurturing caregiver builds an internal view that people are safe, predictable, and caring.

Certainly, our work supports that observation. One of our major findings is that in determining someone's current mental health, the history of their childhood relational health—their connectedness—is as important as, if not more important than, their history of adversity.

The attentive, loving behaviors grow the neural networks that allow us to feel love, and then act in loving ways toward others. If you are loved, you learn to love. Caring for the infant in this loving way also changes the brain of the caregiving adult. These interactions regulate and reward both child and caregiver.

cuando un bebé no ve satisfecha la necesidad de este contacto reconfortante, no se crea la conexión entre el contacto humano y el placer, de

The capacity to love cannot be built in isolation.