Quotes About Attachment

If you don't get what you want, you suffer; if you get what you don't want, you suffer; even when you get exactly what you want, you still suffer because you can't hold on to it forever.

If you don't get what you want, you suffer; if you get what you don't want, you suffer; even when you get exactly what you want, you still suffer because you can't hold on to it forever.

Quickly, Ian learned the danger of holding her. Once he allowed his arm around her, letting her go was nearly impossible.

He'd found her weeping one day the previous week, huddled over a much-thumbed copy of a mystery, one of a series. In this one the heroine's lover had died. She took it as a personal affront—"I can't believe she did that! How could she do that?"—and threw the book across the room, only to retrieve it a moment later and force him to listen to her read the death scene out loud.

People talk about 'getting rid of the old image', and I guess there's some merit in that. But the truth is that people loved 'The Wonder Years' - I can't turn my back on it.

Never express too much love, affection, care to someone, because it is human tendency to underestimate anything that free of cost.

The juvenile sea squirt wanders through the sea searching for a suitable rock or hunk of coral to cling to and make its home for life. For this task, it has a rudimentary nervous system. When it finds its spot and takes root, it doesn't need its brain anymore so it eats it!

From craving is born grief, from craving is born fear. For one freed from craving, there's no grief—so how fear? —Buddha

Psychologists call this habituation, economists call it declining marginal utility, and the rest of us call it marriage.

Early on, I loved ''my grandson''. After six months, I loved you. And I think something similar happened with your love for me.

At the most basic level, therefore, secure attachments in both childhood and adulthood are established by two individual's sharing a nonverbal focus on the energy flow (emotional states) and a verbal focus on the information-processing aspects (representational processes of memory and narrative) of mental life. The matter of the mind matters for secure attachments.

The best predictor of a child's security of attachment is not what happened to his parents as children, but rather how his parents made sense of those childhood experiences.

Early experience shapes the structure and function of the brain. This reveals the fundamental way in which gene expression is determined by experience.

attachment figure—someone who provides a safe haven where the other can be deeply seen and feel safe and secure. At other times we are the expert on the mind, and perhaps on the brain and relationships too, and on the notion of health and unhealth, ease and disease. Yet our patients are also experts in their own right, deeply knowledgeable in other domains. Our patients are certainly expert in being themselves.

As children develop, their brains "mirror" their parent's brain. In other words, the parent's own growth and development, or lack of those, impact the child's brain. As parents become more aware and emotionally healthy, their children reap the rewards and move toward health as well.

neuroplasticidad y la teoría del apego, deseamos subrayar una máxima inspiradora: la historia no determina el destino.

Recapitulando, consiste en lo siguiente: la meta última de la labor de los padres es el apego seguro de nuestros hijos. Eso se logra mediante la presencia y la creación de las cuatro condiciones. Para eso es necesario que encontremos el sentido de nuestras propias narraciones personales, la historia de nuestras relaciones y nuestro apego. Así pues, ahí es donde empieza todo: en la comprensión de la clase de apego que recibimos de nuestros cuidadores. La sucesión

By getting clear on your own experiences, and developing a coherent narrative about them—making sense of what happened to you and how it influenced your development—you can earn the type of attachment approach that allows you to learn how to parent in ways that are completely different from, and much healthier than, the ways you were raised.

You can become the safe harbor for your own children that you never had as a child.

Benefit #1: Connection Moves a Child from Reactivity to Receptivity

By making sense of your past you can free yourself from what might otherwise be a cross-generational legacy of pain and insecure attachment, and instead create an inheritance of nurturance and love for your children.

Una paternidad basada en el cerebro pleno nos permite ir más allá de la simple supervivencia.

Conforme los niños se desarrollan, sus cerebros «reflejan» el cerebro de sus padres. Dicho de otro modo, el propio crecimiento y desarrollo de sus padres, o su ausencia, inciden en el cerebro del niño.

It's not how our parents raised us, or how many parenting books we've read. It's actually how well we've made sense of our experiences with our own parents and how sensitive we are to our children that most powerfully influence our relationship with our kids,