Quotes About Attachment

To feel that you aren't important to your mother leaves a hole. Most often it is felt as a hole in the heart. It's the hole where Mother was supposed to be.

What happened to you as an infant and young child powerfully shapes how you see yourself and other people, what expectations you have for relationships, how you feel about yourself, and what defensive (and healthy!) habits you've learned.

the mother "holds the child's bits together." She is his glue, his container. When the mother is really there, lovingly holding the child, it gives the child something to hold on to. Ultimately, that is the mother's heart.

Just by gazing into the child's eyes, the mother communicates brain to brain with her child, bringing the child's limbic system into coherence with hers. (This is helpful when Mother is in a positive, regulated state but not when she is fussy and upset herself.)

the quality of the mothering we receive so powerfully shapes our development.

Studies in Sweden found that even when a mother works outside the home and the father is the primary caretaker, babies still strongly prefer being with the mother.1

Tendemos a desejar que ninguém morra e nada termine daquilo que nos acompanha e é nosso amado costume, e não vemos que a única coisa que mantém os costumes intactos é que eles nos sejam suprimidos de repente, sem desvio nem evolução possíveis, sem que nos abandonem nem nós os abandonemos. O que dura deteriora-se e acaba por apodrecer, aborrece-nos, vira-se contra nós, satura-nos, cansa-nos.

Jedan par, pomislih, koji zavisi i živi od svojih prepreka; jedan par koji ?e se rasturiti kad ih ne bude bilo, ako ga pre toga ne rasture te iste, tako zamorne i otegnute prepreke, koje ?e me?utim morati da napajaju i neguju i da nastoje da ve?no potraju ako ih je ve? sustigao trenutak kada ne mogu bez ti i ja, ili jedno bez drugog.

uno quiere las cosas y a las personas según lo que tiene o no tiene

loved him beyond reason, but then, all love is beyond reason.

You do care a little for me, I know... but nothing to speak of, and you don't love me. I was yours once till death if you'd cared to keep me, but I'm someone else's now... and he's mine in a way that shocks you, but why don't you stop being shocked, and attend to your own happiness.

Finishing a good book is like leaving a good friend.

You can easily recognize that something is coming from Ego because when you get it, it doesn't satisfy you.

The ego wants to want more than it wants to have.

The quicker you are in attaching verbal or mental labels to things, people, or situations, the more shallow and lifeless your reality becomes, and the more deadened you become to reality

If you identify with a mental position, then if you are wrong, your mind-based sense of self is seriously threatened with annihilation. So you as the ego cannot afford to be wrong. To be wrong is to die. Wars have been fought over this, and countless relationships have broken down.

How do you let go of attachment to things? Don't even try. It's impossible. Attachment to things drops away by itself when you no longer seek to find yourself in them.

True love has no opposite. If your "love" has an opposite, then it is not love but a strong ego-need for a more complete and deeper sense of self, a need that the other person temporarily meets.

Many people don't realize until they are on their deathbed and everything external falls away that no thing ever had anything to do with who they are.

Boredom, anger, sadness, or fear are not "yours," not personal. They are conditions of the human mind. They come and go. Nothing that comes and goes is you.

As long as you make an identity for yourself out of the pain, you cannot become free of it. As long as part of your sense of self is invested in your emotional pain, you will unconsciously resist or sabotage every attempt that you make to heal that pain. Why? Quite simply because you want to keep yourself intact, and the pain has become an essential part of you. This is an unconscious process, and the only way to overcome it is to make it conscious.

It is everywhere, not just in places where people don't have enough, but even more so where they have more than enough. Is that surprising? No. The affluent world is even more deeply identified with form, more lost in content, more trapped in ego.

What is commonly called "falling in love" is in most cases an intensification of egoic wanting and needing. You become addicted to another person, or rather to your image of that person. It has nothing to do with true love, which contains no wanting whatsoever.

If a fish is born in your aquarium and you call him John, write out a birth certificate, tell him about his family history, and two minutes later he gets eaten by another fish — that's tragic. But it's only tragic because you projected a separate self where there was none. You got hold of a fraction of a dynamic process, a molecular dance, and made a separate entity out of it.