Quotes About Author

He groaned and I saw his face. Curran! I would've preferred a homicidal lunatic. Oh, wait...

I got a dog-training book. It says Grendel needs mental stimulation, so I tried to train him, but I think he must be retarded.

Would you care for something to drink?" "Is it poisoned?" "It's Saturday," I said. "We only serve poison during the week.

What the hell is this?" Desandra asked "This is Cuddles. She's a mammoth donkey." Derek grinned, leaning on the fence. "Do you have any self-respect left?" "Nope.

And did you have to hack his arms off?" "Yes, I did. He wouldn't go through the door." "You say it like you're proud of it. I was proud of it. It was an example of quick thinking in a difficult situation.

Who is that?" "Your replacement." "You replaced me with a shaved poodle?" "He's got mad skills.

Aha, Andrea said. I'm going to ignore that you just referred to yourself as 'sugar woogums'.

We don't need teenage bouda sex fiends as interns. How do you know he is a sex fiend? He is fifteen and he's a bouda. Hello?

I'd signed six things and my stack wasn't getting any smaller. It was like the paperwork was breeding while I worked.

I did some thinking." "That is a very dangerous pastime," Ghastek said.

What are your qualifications for this job?" she asked. "I'm expendable," I said.

I did deranged quite well, when the occasion called for it.

We can do subtle, I assured her. It's our middle name, Andrea added. For some odd reason Rene didn't look convinced.

Rene looked at Grendel. "What in the world is that?" "That's our mutant attack poodle," I told her. "Is he chewing on a gun?

Mom? Mother turned to Grandmother. What? She's going to lunch with her kidnapper! Take a picture for me, Grandma said.

I wouldn't want his demonic, undead-blood-smeared, wolf-smelling ass riding me either.

What do you do to your hair? Dust, hair gel, and a little gun oil. Ever thought of patenting the recipe? No.

All that was missing was a neon sign that read EVIL AND CONFLICTED ABOUT IT with a flashing arrow pointing at his head.

You know, if you have certain frustrations, Ascanio said, I would be happy to help you work them out. Derek looked at me, pointed at Ascanio, and punched his left palm with his right fist a few times. I shook my head. No, you can't pummel him.

She had wailed loudly enough to wake the dead and make them call the cops.

Do we have a flamethrower?" Curran asked. "No." "We should get a flamethrower.

It became known that I had a rather fertile imagination, when it came to private activities. She stared. What sort of private activities? This time he did smile, and it turned his face wicked. Disrobe, and I'll be happy to demonstrate.

You're screening your calls? Why not? It saves me from conversations with idiots. Is that an insult? His voice dropped into a deep growl. You're not an idiot, I told him. You're just a deadly psychopath with a god complex.(...)

That suit has gone to your head. It's not the suit, buttercup. I don't do pet names. Do you do werewolves? Okay, I'm not talking to you anymore.