Quotes About Author

But she's a redhead, so she's probably evil, even at her tender age. I thought you liked redheads. I do. What's your point?

You seem upset, Charlie. Is something wrong? Charlie: No, no, I'm okay, I just had to take directions from a mute beaver in a fez to get here, it's unsettling.

That's a horrible plan. Yes, but I have chosen to ignore that.

Ydych chi'n cymryd cerdynnau credid? said the highwayman, no doubt trying to frighten me further, his consonants chained like anal beads strung out of hell's own bunghole.

So I'm all, Owned! Bee-yatch! Dog fucking owned you! Doing a minor booty dance of ownage, perhaps, in retrospect, a bit prematurely. (I believe hip-hop to be the apprpriate language for taunting, at least until I learn French.)

The bat was looking at Theo and Theo was having trouble following his own thoughts.The bat was wearing tiny sunglasses.Ray Bans,Theo could see by the trademark in the corner of one lens.I'm sorry, Mr.,uh- Case, could you take the bat off your head.It's very distracting. Him. Pardon? It's a him.Roberto.He no like the light.

And he was like The sedative in the blood, blah, blah, four hours, blah, blah, nerdspeak, geektalk - -Abby

Ack! Parables. I hate parables.

Your puny worm god weapons are useless against my superior Christmas Kung Fu.

evil is our trade, but not so deep a darkness as politics.

You are my desire. Eating your luscious love thoughts My Junk Just Dropped Off

So, have you seen Flood? she asked. Cop? She added cop with a high pop on the p, like it was a punctuation mark, not a profession

Sophie marched away in rhythm to her new chant, not in the butt - not in the butt - not in the butt.

It is accepted science that God himself gave the French the gift of their cuisine, and while he was downstairs, cursed the English with theirs.

Okey dokey, fire up the blender, let's make a furry-flurry smoothie out of that squirrel!

and thus he found his single source of joy in the society of other people: frightening the girls with his penis.

Author's Notes] As I write this, September 2002, much about the humpback song is still unknown. (Although scientists do know that it tends to be found in the New Age music section, as well as in tropical waters...)

Amy called the whale punkin.

Rivera rubbed his temples. Satan told you to do it? he said wearily. No. Elvis? I told you, it's supernatural.

He had a plan—and a bus pass with four more days left on it—so this son of a bitch had picked the wrong guy to fuck with.

Not the scream of a startled little girl, mind you, but a manly scream: the scream of a fellow who has caught his enormous dong in a revolving door while charging

Take a moment to catch your breath and revel in your rhetorical mastery and achievement.

You're going to need more than that to usher in the kingdom of God, Josh, no offense. We can't go home with, 'Hi, I'm the Messiah, God wanted you to have this bacon.

An air force general with so many campaign medals on his uniform that it looked like someone was losing a game of mah-jongg on his chest.