Quotes About Author

Omigod,' I said on a sudden flash of sleep-deprived insight. 'You're the big bad wolf.' There are some similarities.

You fainted, I told Tank. I did not, Tank said. That's a lie.

God's a busy guy. He don't have time to micromanage. What are the chances he heard that? It's early in the morning. He's probably having breakfast with Mrs. God.

I almost never shoot people.

He specializes in virgins! The brush of his fingertips turns virgins into slobbering mush. Mary Lou Molnar

You gonna take the case? It's not a case. It's a missing person. Sort of. You're gonna have a devil of a time finding him if it was aliens, Grandma said.

Personally, I'm a lazy kind of guy, and leaving the door open on the mystical saves me work. I don't have to stress my brain trying to explain the unexplainable. It's magic. End of discussion.

He doesn't look very smart," Diesel said. "He's not even giving me the finger." "Can monkey's do that?" Hal asked. Carl gave him the finger. "Cool!" Hal said.

I'd do the lifting, but I just got a manicure. And I notice you don't have a manicure at all. Only thing noticeable about your hands is the missing tan on your ring finger that I don't care about. -Lula

I don't mean to change the subject or anything, but have you tried concealer on that zit? Cynthia Lotte - Hot Six

Damn, I thought everyone carried a gun in New Jersey!!!

I figured I'd embellish the truth a little, since the police might not be up on the finer points of bounty hunterism and might not understand about commandeering.

Connie, giving her thoughts on why Vinnie's hot temper is less than normal, says: Lucille must have fed him a Vallium smoothie this morning.

Don't you just hate a phony-looking stiff? - Aunt Edna

I heard about them Rangers on TV," Grandma said. "I heard they get dogs pregnant." -Grandma Mazur

Morelli opened a kitchen drawer, removed a gun, and stepped to the cellar door. "Wait," I said, "maybe we should call the police." "Cupcake, I am the police.

You can't be mad at me," Ranger said. "I'm cute. I might even be adorable.

Whoa. Time out. It's been a long, stressful day, but let's not talk crazy.

Sometimes I moonlight for a guy named Ranger who's extremely bad in an incredibly good way.

Then you know that my portrayal was dead-on. He breaks into homes and asks children to eat him. He's obviously not a well-adjusted pancake.

She's a former professional erectile engineer

Suppose I was able to get to court, and the zombies followed me there, and they ate all the people's brains who were in the court?' 'This is Trenton,' Lula said. 'You might not notice.

Ranger isn't my boyfriend. Ranger and I have a professional relationship." "Yeah, but that doesn't mean you can't play hide the salami once in a while.

His participation was in the ballpark of a pity fuck.