Quotes About Author

Arnie sighed and for a quick moment looked genuinely sympathetic that someone could dream up something this elaborately sad.

They passed a law that said I couldn't put my hands in my pockets. Do you know why? Because they would become concealed weapons. I can kill a man with these hands.

You think the jellyfish ate her?" "Bones and all?" "We're talking about a tentacled flying lamp fucker, Dave. What are you prepared to call unlikely?

I don't see it right now - maybe it was in a different book - but anyway, he says that when you read the Bible, the Devil looks back at you through the pages." "What, like his Bible was possessed? Holy shit, he must have been the worst priest ever.

We were not restrained in our chairs, but there were so many guns on us that if I scratched my nose, the shooting aftermath would look like somebody had just spilled a huge lasagna here.

John unzipped the satchel and pulled out a weapon he had made, a Bible wrapped around the end of a baseball bat with electrician's tape. He brought it up to the ready. I pushed "play.

I fully recognize that all of those are things only a mentally ill person believes. Therefore, I do not believe them." Boom. Therapy accomplished.

Velvet Jesus faced a shadow man to my left. Laser beams fired from his eyes.

It was a shriek, like microphone feedback. But more organic and pained, like the sound a whale would make if it were on fire.

you bunch of greedy fartsouls.

I'm not crazy," I said, crazily, to my court-appointed therapist. He seemed bored with our session. That actually made me want to act crazy, to impress him. Maybe that was his tactic. I thought, maybe I should tell him I'm the only person on Earth who has seen his entire skeleton. Or, I could make something up instead.

Show me your knife.' Man don't got a knife, I got no use for him—it's the universal tool.

My next novel will be the third volume in the John Dies at the End series, and in fact may already exist, again depending on when you're reading this.

I'm not crazy," I said, crazily, to my court-appointed therapist.

I think up until the point when we started in the business, which was in the early '70s, most of the humor was political. The smart humor was political satire.

an oft-cited 2010 study on self-esteem, its authors found that college students would rather receive praise than have sex. A

We struggle. Always. We are doing the best that we can. And we dream of transcendence. For me, there was a time when the dream was incarnate. And the dream's name was Muhammad Ali. This is the story of my time spent with that dream.

His silence helps him come off as something of a seer, a whispering muse.

I never do any television without chocolate. That's my motto and I live by it. Quite often I write the scripts and I make sure there are chocolate scenes. Actually I'm a bit of a chocolate tart and will eat anything. It's amazing I'm so slim.

I don't read novels whilst I'm writing one; I just haven't got a wide enough brain to concentrate on incoming and outgoing in the same time zone.

I felt uncomfortable from the start because I had profound problems with following sequential directions, especially when they were spoken.

Unfortunately, the hyperbole of the inaugural outran the provisions of the budget.

How Long Before Monsanto Try to Patent The Milk of Human Kindness

Sartre said Hell is other people. I'd say Hell is other people's utopia.