Quotes About Parenting

A child walks in to the living room and asks, "Dad, where does poo come from?" Without wanting to be too explicit the father replies, "Well, first Mommy makes us dinner. Then we eat it. Then the body takes away all the goodness from the food to make us strong. Then we sit on the toilet. What's left comes out as poo." Looking horrified the child asks, "But Dad, what about Tigger and Eeyore??

Q: What's the difference between broccoli and boogers? A: Kids won't eat broccoli.

Q: How did Burger King get Dairy Queen pregnant? A: He forgot to wrap his Whopper.

That's the way I look at our marriage. Yes, we're parents, uncles and aunties, friends and bosses, but at our core we're just two big kids doing our best to create a life for our kids that makes us proud.

It's not the cost (although that pinches), or the time (though that grinds). After a while, it's the sheer galling indignity of being asked to prove, pay, and prove all over again that you're a worthy parent. Any true parent will tell you that that is impossible to prove in advance.

They will grow up knowing that they should be only proud about being adopted. I will consider it a parental failure if our daughters ever try to use it as some kind of excuse.

Father, I also need you to re-parent me as a parent. You've already forgiven me for the years I spent parenting by fear and control and out of guilt and pride. Now I pray for the redeeming of those years. Indeed, Father, teach me what it means to parent by grace, in every season of our relationship. Write stories of restoration and renewal.

Dear Jesus, there's no more important or necessary gift we can give our children than to keep on bringing them to you. Whether they're babies, teenagers, or adults themselves, it makes no difference. At every stage of life, our kids need you, Jesus.

If you raise a child, there's no time, you can't be a great parent.

It is time to set aside the old partisan bickering and finger-pointing and name-calling that comes from freeing parents to make different choices for their children.

Mama and Papa are more to blame (for delinquency) than the kids; parents should stay home and raise their children and spend less time in taverns.

~I use humor instead of getting into that whole yes and no thing all the time. It's about just getting them to laugh rather than getting in power struggles.~

I am stopping so I can be a full time father to my two young sons on a daily basis.

No matter how much time you spend reading books or following your intuition, you're gonna screw it up. Fifty times. You can't do parenting right.

I think once I fail enough as a dad, I'll be looking for help wherever I can get it. I just need enough time to screw things up and then I'll start looking to TV dads for advice.

It's time for Americans to stop worrying about Kim Kardashian and figure out how we're gonna save our kids.

I'm pretty earthy; I nursed forever because I liked it and my kids liked it, but at the same time I'm very laissez-faire about stuff like bedtimes and food.

I have as many pictures of my vocal cords as I do of my children. I have a great ear, nose and throat doctor, and we look at them - if there's some redness, maybe I'll take a little time off.

I conveniently forgot to remember that people only have two hands, or, as another parent once said of having a third child, it's time for a zone defense instead of man-to-man.

My husband has spent more time with our children than I have. I don't think they're better or worse off.

What I do with my kids is - and I think they probably do ignore us - is No Alcohol. If they're drunk they will be grounded for time immemorial.

while everything else in our lives has gotten simpler, speedier, more microwavable and user-friendly, child-raising seems to have expanded to fill the time no longer available for it.

I do feel free, I have patched things up with my ex-husband to the degree of this real friendship. We spend a lot of time together as a family with our son, no way will we be man and wife again.

When you have a lot of fake selves, most of the time it's because you haven't had parents around so you try to build characters to protect yourself.