Quotes About Parenting

Life is unfair and there are winners and losers, regardless of how much overprotective parents attempt to shield their offspring from reality.

Presently, Mary Mac—that's what we call her for short—has churned out more kids than I can count. It's like she's a hoarder, only for children. In terms of personal achievement, she's pretty much the patron saint of minivans and stretch marks. What is that meme I've seen about the prolific 19 Kids and Counting mother? Ah, yes, "It's a vagina, not a clown car." Add one persecution complex, stir, and, boom! Meet my older sister.

My father lied, and when pressed about this fib years later, his answer was "Jennifer, I don't negotiate with ten-year-olds." Respect.

When clans of yore went out for a meal in my day, there were no crayons, no sippy cups, no serving little Jennifer's unsauced spaghetti early. Generation X kids conducted themselves like tiny civilized sophisticates, because if we misbehaved, we'd enjoy a spanking for dessert instead of the triple-layer chocolate cake

Of everything parents must worry about today, should "keeping their children's looks fresh" be at the top of the list? How about this—maybe get them vaccinated for measles before fretting about the sell-by date of their ensembles. Why don't we operate on the premise that at age six, kids don't need to establish a personal brand?

For all the precautions parents exercise now, all the helmets and booster seats and sunscreen, wouldn't toddlers be safer without one million followers on Instagram? If nothing else, how can we keep our nation's kids from becoming assholes when thousands of strangers tell them how great they are every day?

Comedian Maz Jobrani said kids are running the show now, as when he was young, he was forced to play with his parents' friends' kids. Now, as a parent, he's forced to play with his kids' friends' parents.

By seventh grade, the notes stopped and it was assumed that I'd know how to fend for myself for dinner if there was a ten-dollar bill on the table. There were three dinner options at my house. In reverse order of preference: Number three—broiled chicken dusted with paprika. Number two—ten on the table. And number one—dinner with Mom and her boyfriend, David, at a five-star restaurant.

No carbs her mother called after her as she went into the dressing room And no butter I know you stole me from my real parents Min called back. They'd let me eat butter

Luke is the father of the heart, Richard is the father of the mind, and Christopher is the father of the body.

People should be more careful about what they read to their kids," Park said. "Some of this stuff sounds dangerous.

clearly he'd decided that his kid was more important than great sex, a decision Sophie applauded in the abstract but resented in the specific.

Before I had kids, I always found it funny how people would talk about their children like they were the cutest things on the planet and how every little thing they did was endlessly fascinating. Now that I've had kids, I can say with certainty that, my children really are the cutest things on this planet and every little thing they do is endlessly fascinating...

As is true in many houses with small children, questions are asked all the time in ours, but these are seldom about big-picture matters. Why is there yogurt on the TV? Why are my car keys in the trash? Where's the front doorknob? Who let a squirrel in the house?

Parents who needed a little chemical help to develop that favorable attitude could turn to pharmaceuticals. As in the Victorian era—the last time mothers were encouraged to do all the child-rearing themselves—drugs again became a popular at-home activity. Enter Miltown and Valium, aka mother's little helper.*

mom about the fight, and he'd be grounded or worse. Maybe his mom wouldn't even give him his Christmas

Sometimes at night when we were watching TV, he would speak to his belly as if it were a pet, giving it a little pat and asking, "A little popcorn? Another beer?

A daughter's a daughter all her life, but a son's a son 'til he takes a wife, was what her own mother had told her.

Don't upset your mother, my father would say.

DO understand that, when all is said and done, your kids are going to find something to blame you for, no matter how hard you try, and that they will grow up to be who they were destined to be, no matter what you do. A large part of this is out of your hands. Try your best, treat yourself well, and forgive yourself as frequently as possible.

Raise boys and girls the same way.

It is no small merit in God's eyes to bring up children well.

It is only the first baby that takes up the whole of a woman's time.Five or six do not require nearly so much attention as one.

Harris, as he occasionally explains to George and to myself, has daughters of his own, or, to speak more correctly, a daughter, who as the years progress will no doubt cease practising catherine wheels in the front garden , and will grow up into a beautiful and respectable young lady. This naturally gives Harris an interest in all beautiful girls up to the age of thirty-five or thereabouts; they remind him, so he says, of home.