Quotes About Parenting

People who are pro smacking children say, 'It's the only language they understand.' You could apply that to tourists.

My son complains about headaches. I tell him all the time, when you get out of bed, it's feet first!

Parents think we're too young for love, too old for fun, too smart to play dumb and too immature for grown up conversations. Its no wonder teens are so rebellious!

The most valuable lesson you can teach your children is that life is about the unfolding of the conscious self.

No one ever died from sleeping in an unmade bed. I have known mothers who remake the bed after their children do it because there is wrinkle in the spread or the blanket is on crooked. This is sick.

I think I'd be a good mother. Maybe a little overprotective. Like I would never let the kid out, of my body.

If it's five o'clock and the children are still alive, I've done my job.

Parents are the most selfless people who do everything in their power for their kids just out of love and affection without expecting anything.

Those who educate children well are more to be honored than they who produce them; for these only gave them life, those the art of living well.

I have good looking kids. Thank goodness my wife cheats on me.

He would take your mother off your father.

Mother's words of wisdom: "Answer me! Don't talk with food in your mouth!"

You know it's a sad day when your child looks at you and asks 'Daddy, are these organic?'

You become about as exciting as your food blender. The kids come in, look you in the eye, and ask if anybody's home.

The best way to achieve freedom from your parents is to gain their trust by proving that you can take very good care of yourself in their absence.

Having one child makes you a parent; having two youare referee

Fathers should teach their sons how to earn money because mothers teach their daughters how to spend it.

According to parents we're too young for love, too old for fun, too smart to play dumb and too immature for grown up conversations. Its no wonder teens are so rebellious! There's nothing else to do!

By the time I realized my parents were right, I had kids that didn't believe me.

If Tumblr and Twitter were school subjects, my parents would love me.

White parents use time out. My mom used a different type of time out. She'd be like, 'There...take time out to pick up your teeth.'

I now know how uncomfortable most parents have it when they're having the sex talk with their children.

I once bought my kids a set of batteries for Christmas with a note on it saying, toys not included.

Raising kids is part joy and part guerilla warfare.