Quotes About Family

Here's a bumper sticker I'd like to see: "We are the proud parents of a child who's self-esteem is sufficient that he doesn't need us promoting his minor scholastic achievements on the back of our car.

So, have a little fun. Soon enough you'll be dead and burning in Hell with the rest of your family.

It was my uncle who taught me about the birds and the bees. He sat me down one day and said, 'Remember this, George, the birds fuck the bees.' Then he told me he once banged a girl so hard her freckles came off.

Reminds me of something my grandfather would say. He'd say, I'm goin' upstairs to fuck your grandmother. He was an honest man, and he wasn't going to bullshit a four-year-old.

If you guys want to get a MOM tattoo and save a little money, just get two letters done. Get about a one-inch capital M tattooed on each cheek of your ass in pink and brown ink. Then when you bend over, it says Mom. Also, later on if you're havin' sex with your girlfriend, and her parents are in the next room, when you finish up you can just lie on your back, draw your legs up to your chest and silently say, 'Wow!

Nothing worse... nothing worse that to be stuck somewhere with some married a-hole and have to listen to him tell you about his f***in' kids... Let me tell ya something, folks... nobody cares about your children, okay? Nobody cares about your children. I speak for everyone. I've been appointed by the rest of the group to inform you we don't care about your children – that's why they're your children, so you can care about them and we don't have to bother.

Y'ever notice how you never seem to get laid on Thanksgiving? I think it's because all the coats are on the bed.

George Washington's brother, Lawrence, was the Uncle of Our Country.

Whenever I hear about parents who have nine or ten children, the only thing I wonder is how they survive the birthday parties.

Why don't the men have "Take Our Sons to the Cat-House Night"?

By holding an annual drag ball on Thanksgiving, gay men both built on the day's tradition of masquerade and expanded the inversion it implied. On a day that celebrated the family, they assembled to celebrate their membership in a gay family.

I desire no future that will break the ties of the past.

The troublesome ones in a family are usually either the wits or the idiots.

A child, more than all other gifts That earth can offer to declining man, Brings hope with it, and forward-looking thoughts. —WORDSWORTH.

I like trying to get pregnant. I'm not so sure about childbirth.

The wit of a family is usually best received among strangers.

We are children of a large family, and must learn, as such children do, not to expect that our little hurts will be made much of - to be content with little nurture and caressing, and help each other the more.

Looking at the mother, you might hope that the daughter would become like her, which is a prospective advantage equal to a dowry—the mother too often standing behind the daughter like a malignant prophecy—"Such as I am, she will shortly be.

When a homemaking aunt scolds a niece for following her evangelistic passion instead of domestic pursuits, her reply is interesting. First, she clarifies that God's individual call on her doesn't condemn those in more conventional roles. Then, she says she can no more ignore the cry of the lost than her aunt can the cry of her child.

Oh, you dear good father! cried Mary, putting her hands round her father's neck, while he bent his head placidly, willing to be caressed. I wonder if any other girl thinks her father the best man in the world! Nonsense, child; you'll think your husband better. Impossible, said Mary, relapsing into her usual tone; husbands are an inferior class of men, who require keeping in order.

You won't be giving me away, father,' she had said before they went to church; 'you'll only be taking Aaron to be a son to you.

There, now, father, you won't work in it till it's all easy, said Eppie, and you and me can mark out the beds, and make holes and plant the roots. It'll be a deal livelier at the Stone-pits when we've got some flowers, for I always think the flowers can see us and know what we're talking about. And I'll have a bit o' rosemary, and bergamot, and thyme, because they're so sweet-smelling; but there's no lavender only in the gentlefolks' gardens, I think.

The Meyricks had their little oddities, streaks of eccentricity from the mother's blood as well as the father's, their minds being like mediaeval houses with unexpected recesses and openings from this into that, flights of steps and sudden outlooks.

Oh, you dear good father! cried Mary, putting her hands round her father´s neck, while he bent his head placidly, willing to be caressed. I wonder if any other girl thinks her father the best man in the world. Nonsense, child; you´ll think your husband better. Impossible, said Mary, relapsing into her usual tone, husbands are an inferior class of men, who require keeping in order.