Quotes About Family

As a child my family's menu consisted of two choices: take it or leave it.

My dad used to say to me, 'You look more like me than I do.'

Being pretty on the inside means you don't hit your brother and you eat all your peas - that's what my grandma taught me.

I loved this smart, funny, big-hearted novel. As hilarious and wise as early Philip Roth, The Mathematician's Shiva will delight and move you.

I got a lot of support from my parents. That's the one thing I always appreciated. They didn't tell me I was being stupid; they told me I was being funny.

I asked my girlfriend, 'Will you marry me?' She said, 'We'll have to ask my father.' So we had a seance and Jack Ruby says, 'Hello!'

My parents, grandparents, aunts and uncles were all funny, and I felt that energy, that delivery, that timing, that sarcasm. All that stuff seeped into my brain.

I didn't know how babies were made until I was pregnant with my fourth child.

On this special Fathers Day, we'd like to wish all of you a very Happy Birthday.

Acquiring a dog may be the only opportunity a human ever has to choose a relative.

My grandfather's a little forgetful, but he likes to give me advice. One day, he took me aside and left me there.

Insanity is hereditary; you get it from your children.

Get out the rye bread and mustard grandma, cause it's GRAND SALAMI TIME!

I have 4 kids already, I don't need anymore. I'm a single parent. I'm taking them through Europe and make them play funny instruments.

Irish Alzheimer's: you forget everything except the grudges

We've had cloning in the South for years. It's called cousins.

If you need a baby that bad, go down to the pound and get one. Not even a baby - go get an old man. There's unwanted people of all ages, pre-made and waiting for you.

My dad died, and my grandfather died, and my great-grandfather died. And the guy before him, I don't know. Probably died.

As I learned from growing up, you don't mess with your grandmother.

Stories in families are colossally important. Every family has stories: some funny, some proud, some embarrassing, some shameful. Knowing them is proof of belonging to the family.

Stuart Rojstaczer writes with enormous wit, style and empathy, and The Mathematician's Shiva is a big-hearted, rollickingly funny novel that's impossible to put down. A tremendous debut.

When I have a kid, I want to buy one of those strollers for twins. Then put the kid in and run around, looking frantic. When he gets older, I'd tell him he used to have a brother, but he didn't obey.

A man with a hump-backed uncle mustn't make fun of another man's cross-eyed aunt

Donald Trump is happiest when he's with his family and that's his - that - that really is a happy place for him to be with his family. And so he's very generous, very kind, funny, compassionate.