Quotes About Support

effective dependency" and how being able, from "the cradle to the grave," to turn to others for emotional support is a sign and source of strength.

But it's not just whether or not we have close relationships in our lives—the quality of these relationships matters, too. Negative relationships undermine our health.

Spouses depending on each other too much was what wrecked marriages!

One reason is that we are increasingly living in social isolation.

We need emotional attachments with a few irreplaceable others to be physically and mentally healthy — to survive.

Emotional connection is crucial to healing. In fact, trauma experts overwhelmingly agree that the best predictor of the impact of any trauma is not the severity of the event, but whether we can seek and take comfort from others.

Love is our bulwark, designed to provide emotional protection so we can cope with the ups and downs of existence.

We need validation from our loved ones. Researchers say that marital distress raises the risk for depression tenfold!

As lovers, we poise together delicately on a tightrope. When the winds of doubt and fear begin blowing, if we panic and clutch at each other or abruptly turn away and head for cover, the rope sways more and more and our balance becomes even more precarious. To stay on the rope, we must shift with each other's moves, respond to each other's emotions. As we connect, we balance each other. We are in emotional equilibrium.

Strife is better than loneliness." — Irish proverb

Underneath all the distress, partners are asking each other: Can I count on you, depend on you? Are you there for me? Will you respond to me when I need, when I call? Do I matter to you? Am I valued and accepted by you? Do you need me, rely on me?

Even though we are programmed by millions of years of evolution to relentlessly seek out belonging and intimate connection, we persist in defining healthy people as those who do not need others.

They find tending to a child unsatisfying and frustrating when it interferes with their personal interests and activities. Their complaints are not centered on a partner's lack of support—they dismiss their need for support most of the time—but rather on their own irritation and discomfort.

The overall conclusion: a sense of secure connection between romantic partners is key in positive loving relationships and a huge source of strength for the individuals in those relationships. Among the more significant findings:

The foundation of contented, sustained relationships is the faith that your partner is there for you.

Those who felt that their needs were accepted by their partners were more confident about solving problems on their own and were more likely to successfully achieve their own goals.

Underneath all the distress, partners are asking each other: Can I count on you, depend on you? Are you there for me? Will you respond to me when I need, when I call? Do I matter to you? Am I valued and accepted by you? Do you need me, rely on me? The anger, the criticism, the demands, are really cries to their lovers, calls to stir their hearts, to draw their mates back in emotionally and reestablish a sense of safe connection.

Abide with me; fast falls the eventide; The darkness deepens; still with me abide. When other helpers fail and comforts flee, Help of the helpless, O abide with me.

We said we'd walk together baby come what may That come the twilight should we lose our way If as we're walkin' a hand should slip free I'll wait for you And should I fall behind Wait for me —Bruce Springsteen

Feeling connected, feeling with someone goes hand in hand with feeling for that person.

Seeking out and giving support are so vital to human beings that social psychologists Mario Mikulincer and Phil Shaver observe that, rather than being called Homo sapiens, or "one who knows," we should be named Homo auxiliator vel accipio auxilium, or "one who helps or receives help." To be even more accurate, I say we should be called Homo vinculum—"one who bonds.

A person's "heart withers if it does not answer another heart." —Pearl S. Buck

When partners tell me that they cannot be considerate of and watch out for each other with everyday acts of caring, I worry. When they tell me that they are not making love, I am concerned. But when they tell me that they do not touch, I know they are really in trouble.

have to do this. Let's stop. Come over and just let's have a hug.' And she did. It felt great." I asked