Quotes About Children

So worried by the chaos were the British that between Christmas 1928 and New Year 1929 they organised an airlift first of their women and children then of all personnel, the first large-scale air evacuation in history

you do not know what she did not only to me but to the little children. She has tortured them, turned them against me, lied to them

She said she hated my children—her own children, Looloo-dirl, her own children!

Henny was beautifully, wholeheartedly vile: she asked no quarter and gave none to the foul world, and when she told her children tales of the villainies they could understand, it was not to corrupt them, but because, for her, the world was really so. How could their father, said she, so fool them with his lies and nonsense?

Therefore," he reasoned with himself, "it is love coming to claim me: I have been so long without love, hated at home, living in terror of my children's lives: it is pure, tender, normal love.

A mother! What are we worth really? They all grow up whether you look after them or not.

You will never break up my home. I know that's been your object for years and the aim of all your secret maneuvers. I love my children as no man ever loved his before. I know men love their children, but mine are bound up in me, part of me

I'll find a way. There must be a way. And I'll take my children from you. The man who loves children! You can have your own. That's all you really care about

The children hid themselves, with receptive ears, round corners.

The voices of children are easily silenced by the fear of not being believed. If 3-year-old Michael Smith had somehow miraculously survived, would he have told anyone that his mother tried to drown him? Would anyone have believed him? No one wants to believe that a mother would sacrifice her own child, especially the child.

When enraged, some divorced borderlines may deprive their children of contact with their father either to punish him or the children.

Children of borderlines may tune out by dissociating and disconnecting from their environment. They cannot feel embarrassed, humiliated, ridiculed, or hurt if they are no longer in their own bodies. Unfortunately, the sensation of depersonalization or dissociation makes them feel crazy.

Although borderline mothers may love their children as much as other mothers, their deficits in cognitive functioning and emotional regulation create behaviors that undo their love. Borderline mothers have difficulty loving their children patiently and consistently. Their love does not endure misunderstandings or disagreements. They can be jealous, rude, irritable, resentful, arrogant, and unforgiving. Healthy love is based on trust and is the essence of emotional security.

Therapists hear horrifying stories of child abuse that never make the headlines. The media seem drawn to stories about children who die, as if the suffering of those who survive is any less terrifying.

The borderline's children are preoccupied with what researchers call "risk assessment"—with determining the nature of their mother's state of mind from one moment to the next. It is an unconscious and involuntary process, like breathing. They do not realize they are doing it.

Attacks by the Witch mother are like tornadoes: random, devastating, and unpredictable. Naturally, her children are on constant alert for changes in the atmosphere that might indicate when and where she will "Turn.

Children who live with a predatory mother become unconsciously preoccupied with reading their mother's moods. A fleeting glance, a furtive gesture, deceleration, and a shift of direction are signals of an approaching Turn. Bracing, hiding, or merely holding on gives children a much-needed sense of control. Shutting down, avoiding eye contact, and getting away are other means of establishing control.

Ernest Wolf (1988) explains that "merger-hungry" personalities need to control others completely. The borderline Witch's merger-hungry personality leaves her children feeling devoured, suffocated, oppressed, and imprisoned. Even as adults, her children may dream about prison camps, holocausts, invasions, wars, and natural disasters. They fear for their survival.

The effects of parental abandonment, abuse, and neglect can be mitigated if children have access to a relationship with a loving adult such as a teacher, a minister, a neighbor, or a relative who is empathically attuned to the child's feelings.

Therapists sometimes warn family members not to depend on the person with BPD to validate their self-worth, yet young children have no choice. They can and will do anything to hold onto the good mother (the loving, caring person) who unpredictably turns into the Witch mother (the terrifying, raging beast).

Emotionally stable parents share their children's joy and quiet their fear. But caretaking roles are reversed for children of borderlines whose mothers are chronically upset. Children repress their fear in order to calm their mother. Situations that should frighten children may not because they have learned not to feel.

Borderline mothers who threaten or attempt suicide keep their children emotionally trapped, and their children may suffer from extreme anxiety even as adults.

Effective conflict resolution requires empathy: kids have to be able to take their friends' or siblings' points of view into account, which presents a natural opportunity for children to learn to consider other people's feelings.

Nothing has a stronger influence psychologically … on children than the unlived life of the parent. —CARL JUNG