Quotes About Behavior

HE ISN'T ABUSIVE BECAUSE HE IS ANGRY; HE'S ANGRY BECAUSE HE'S ABUSIVE.

Abusive men are masters of excuse making. In this respect they are like substance abusers, who believe that everyone and everything except them is responsible for their actions.

Abuse is not caused by bad relationship dynamics.

He drives recklessly or speeds up when he's angry. -He punches walls or kicks doors. -He throws things around, even if they don't hit you.

ALCOHOL HAS NO BIOLOGICAL CONNECTION TO ABUSE OR VIOLENCE Alcohol does not directly make people belligerent, aggressive, or violent. There is evidence that certain chemicals can cause violent behavior — anabolic steroids, for example, or crack cocaine — but alcohol is not among them. In the human body, alcohol is actually a depressant, a substance that rarely causes aggression. Marijuana similarly has no biological action connected to abusiveness.

Ray was not abusive because he was angry; he was angry because he was abusive.

An abuser's behavior is primarily conscious – he acts deliberately rather than by accident or by losing control of himself – but the underlying thinking that drives his behavior is largely not conscious.

don't make him do the things he does. When men blame women for their own behavior, that's one of the benchmarks of abuse.

Part of how the abuser escapes confronting himself is by convincing you that you are the cause of his behavior, or that you at least share the blame. But abuse is not a product of bad relationship dynamics, and you cannot make things better by changing your own behavior or by attempting to manage your partner better. Abuse is a problem that lies entirely within the abuser.

The salient point about remorse, however, is that it matters little whether it is genuine or not. Clients who get very sorry after acts of abuse change at about the same rate as the ones who don't. The most regretful are sometimes the most self-centered, lamenting above all the injury they've done to their own self-image. They feel ashamed of having behaved like cruel dictators and want to revert quickly to the role of benign dictators, as if that somehow makes them much better people.

A man's beliefs about the effects of the substance will largely be borne out. If he believes that alcohol can make him aggressive, it will, as research has shown. On the other hand, if he doesn't attribute violence-causing powers to substances, he is unlikely to become aggressive even when severely intoxicated.

abuse is a problem of values, not of psychology.

An abuser can be thought of not as a man who is a "deviant," but rather as one who learned his society's lessons too well, swallowing them whole.

Abusive and controlling men tend to have an endless collection of strategies to avoid having to look at their behavior and change it. They are highly attached to an unequal, privileged position in their relationships with women, and as a result are simply not willing to operate respectfully, since that would mean operating as equals.

but men who have abusive fathers do; the disrespect that abusive men show their female partners and their daughters is often absorbed by their sons. So while a small number

He is entirely responsible for his own actions. His behavior is his choice.

What can only be taught by the rod and with blows will not lead to much good; they will not remain pious any longer than the rod is behind them.

The fruit does not make the tree good or bad but the tree itself is what determines the nature of the fruit. In the same way, a person first must be good or bad before doing a good or bad work.

It is a truism among researchers into smell that all human subjects behave as if they themselves do not smell like humans, because all humans smell bad.

Not a man of habits, though he wished to be

When people complain of the decay of manners they have in mind not the impudent abbreviations of the crowd, but the decline in bowing and scraping and in speaking of one's employer as "the master." What the rich mean by the good manners of the poor is usually not civility, but servility.

both elbows on the table. 'She's

Since emotional intelligence is learned rather than inherited, it can be improved.

Whining is when you frequently repeat hot links to yourself and others.