Quotes About Trust

infidelity is not just a loss of love; it is a loss of self.

What draws people outside the lines they worked so hard to establish? Why does sexual betrayal hurt so much? Is an affair always selfish and weak, or can it in some cases be understandable, acceptable, even an act of boldness and courage?

Did we really have to go through an affair just to be able to be truly honest with each other?" I hear this often and share their regret. But here's one of the unspoken truths about relationships: for many couples, nothing less extreme is powerful enough to get the partners' attention and to shake up a stale system.

In my decades of working with couples, I've observed that those who are most successful in keeping the erotic spark alive are those who are comfortable with the mystery in their midst.

Today in the West most of us are going to have two or three significant long-term relationships or marriages. And some of us are going to do it with the same person. When a couple comes to me in the aftermath of an affair, I often tell them this: Your first marriage is over. Would you like to create a second one together?

Only when the betrayed partner feels emotionally met will he or she be able to listen to explanations without hearing them as justifications.

As Maria Popova writes, "The dance of anger and forgiveness, performed to the uncontrollable rhythm of trust, is perhaps the most difficult in human life, as well as one of the oldest.

It is no longer a sin against God, a breaking of a family alliance, a muddying of the bloodline, or a dispersion of resources and inheritances. At the core of betrayal today is a violation of trust: We expect our partner to act according to our shared set of assumptions, and we base our own behavior on that.

Secrecy is the number one organizing principle of an infidelity. An affair always lives in the shadow of the primary relationship, hoping never to be discovered. The secrecy is precisely what intensifies the erotic charge. "Sex and subterfuge make a delicious cocktail,"7 writes journalist Julia Keller.

One of the powerful attributes of secrecy is its function as a portal for autonomy and control.

By talking about sexual alchemy, I want to clarify that affairs sometimes involve sex and sometimes not, but they are always erotic.

In truth, we never know our partner as well as we think we do.

Affairs are an act of betrayal and they are also an expression of longing and loss.

A Window into the Human Heart Affairs have a lot to teach us about relationships. They open the door to a deeper examination of values, human nature, and the power of eros.

Sexual honesty isn't just about divulging the details of your infidelities. It's about communicating with your partner in an open and mature way—revealing core aspects of yourself through your sexuality.

And when we haven't been touched in years, we are more vulnerable to the kindness of strangers.

To quote Rachel Botsman, "Trust is a confident relationship to the unknown.

For me, infidelity includes one or more of these three constitutive elements: secrecy, sexual alchemy, and emotional involvement.

Emotional involvement is the third element that may play a role in infidelity. Most affairs register an emotional component, to one degree or another.

Remember, a friend does not need you to impress him. A friend loves you because you are true to yourself, not because you agree with him. Beware of grand gestures; the real mettle of friendship is forged in life's daily workings.

Shakespeare could do anything with words. You are not more intelligent than he--so don't try to fix his writing. Try to understand it. If the language is clumsy or contradictory--consider why? Every word was deliberately chosen. Trust me.

Laurel could not see her face but only the back of her neck, the most vulnerable part of anybody, and she thought: Is there any sleeping person you can be entirely sure you have not misjudged?

The difficulty that accompanies you is less like the dark than a trusted lantern to see your way by.

He, who had once been the declared optimist, had not once expressed hope. Now it was she who was offering it to him. And it might be false hope