Quotes About Judgment

Most people named Willie are either in prison or on the armwrestling circuit.

You ever talk about a movie with someone that read the book? They're always so condescending. 'Ah, the book was much better than the movie.' Oh really? What I enjoyed about the movie: no reading.

Remember what the Bible says: He who is without sin, cast the first rock. And I shall smoketh it.

If a guy doesn't like a funny girl, something is wrong with him.

In the main, there are two sorts of books: those that no one reads and those that no one ought to read.

It is a profitable thing, if one is wise, to seem foolish.

There are three sorts of lawyers - able, unable and lamentable.

[Thine] face is not worth sunburning.

Everyone tries to get you to dance at clubs. They come up to you and say "You gotta dance! you gotta dance!" And then I dance, and they're like, "Not like that!"

Nobody asked how you looked, just what you shot.

I'm the decider, and I decide what is best.

Ethical dilemmas have a way of sneaking up on a person. If something smells funny, stay away from it. Or help get rid of it.

There's no in between-you're either good or bad. We were in between.

Let's face it, most pretty girls aren't funny.

Lindsay calls them the Pugs: pretty from far away, ugly up close.

Why would anyone expect him to come out smarter? He went to prison for three years, not Princeton.

Girl who sit on Judge's lap get honorable discharge.

I don't care what anybody says, I think that George Bush is absolutely the right president to oversea the end of the world.

Once you've been in a mental institution, people are going to look at you funny.

I'd say that about 82 percent of what I write is bad, but don't go by me; I'm as bad a judge as I am a writer. Look, if it were all good, you'd be paying twice as much for this book.

It is funny the things that run through your mind when you're sitting in your underpants in front of a pair of strangers.

I don't like people whose job it isn't to be funny, to tell me what is and isn't funny.

Katherine Heigl, she was exactly the opposite of what I thought she'd be like. She smokes cigarettes, or she did then, and she's got a truck-driver's mouth, and she's really funny.

You know, if I started worrying about what the critics think, I'd never make another comedy. You couldn't pick a less funny group than critics - you couldn't find a more bitter group of people!