Quotes About Misunderstanding

Except that stopping midsentence is the worst thing people can do. It's like, totally passive-aggressive, because you can't take issue with anything they've said. You have to take issue with what you think they were going to say. Which then they deny.

Emma, your granddad's on the line," says Artemis, putting her hand over the receiver. "Something about the night bus and he'll never trust you again?

If you're single, then I'm single? What's that supposed to be? Lyrics to a pop song?

I trail away into silence. I've just shared details of my condom use with my son's teacher. I'm not sure how that happened.

Except that stopping mid-sentence is the worst thing people can do. It's, like, totally passive aggressive, because you can't take issue with anything they've said. You have to take issue with what you think they were going to say.

I know exactly what Luke's doing. He's trying to push me and Suze together so we can make up. Which is really sweet of him. But I feel like a panda being told to mate with another panda that clearly doesn't fancy me.

How many divorces are caused by the word nothing? I think this would be a very interesting statistic.

OK, I have to make sure we're on the same page here. Because I might mean one thing and she might mean, intending to start a Cordon Bleu course when I get back to England.

I'm sorry, says Linus. Don't be sorry, I say, almost aggressively. You didn't say anything. Which is true. He didn't say anything. He stopped mid-sentence. Except that stopping mid-sentence is the worst thing people can do. It's, like, partially aggressive, because you can't take issue with anything they've said. You have to take issue with what you think they were going to say. Which they then deny.

All of you make these easy, obvious, lazy assumptions that anyone under the age of eighteen is a pathological, dishonest sub-human with no integrity. But we're people, just like you, and you don't seem to get that!

So instead I'm zapping her lots of smiley faces and emojis of shiny suns and sailboats and dodging the truth altogether. (Maybe that's what emojis were invented for in the first place, and I've just been using them wrong. They're not there to convey thoughts in a fun way; they're there to lie to your mum.)

There's silence, then the phone bleeps again with his reply: :) I stare in disbelief. A smiley face. Sam Roxton typed a smiley face! A moment later he sends a follow-up. I know. I don't believe it either.

Maybe that's what emojis were invented for in the first place, and I've just been using them wrong. They're not there to convey thoughts in a fun way; they're there to lie to your mum.)

As regards the DF 4000 Deluxe X-ray body scanner we were discussing, please be assured, I have never known a case of a husband "using it to track down shopping parcels hidden about his wife's person.

If he does love her, then maybe he's forgotten what love is supposed to be like

My head is prickling and I can sense Suze staring meaningfully at me, but I don't want to meet her gaze. I want to make the perfect lighthearted comment that will instantly smooth everything over. Right now, though, I can't quite think of it

I suddenly hear his voice again: Round-robin emails are the work of the devil. And I sent one out in his name. To the whole company. Without consulting him. Oh

It's terrible when the one who does the judging judges things all wrong.

Art thou deaf when friends are banned as foes?

Thou seek'st to part us, wrapping in soft words Hard thoughts.

I think you're insane.

Shows itself in the notion that what may be objectively true may in the mouth of certain people become false.

What distinguished my life from my brother's is that my mother didn't like me. When I became a woman, I seemed to repel her.

Advanced life-forms, my seweet patootie. Jerks. Both of them.