Quotes About Religion

Priests were metal-reinforced overshoes. They saved your soles. This is an Assassin joke.

Gods?" said Xeno. "We don't bother with gods. Huh. Relics of an outmoded belief system, gods." There was a rumble of thunder from the clear evening sky. "Except for Blind Io the Thunder God," Xeno went on, his tone hardly changing.

I nearly committed a terrible sin, said Brutha. I nearly ate fruit on a fruitless day. That's a terrible thing, a terrible thing, said Om. Now cut the melon.

I mean, it's one thing saying you've got the best god, but sayin' it's the only real one is a bit of a cheek, in my opinion. I know where I can find at least two any day of the week. And they say everyone starts out bad and only gets good by believin' in Om, which is frankly damn nonsense.

He knew from experience that true and obvious ideas, such as the ineffable wisdom and judgment of the Great God Om, seemed so obscure to many people that you actually had to kill them before they saw the error of their ways...

All the higher life forms scythed away, just like that. [ . . . ] Nothing but dust and fundamentalists.

As for me, some days I believe in God, and some days I do not. Then Dodger said, "Is that allowed?" Solomon pushed the door open and then fussily began locking it up again behind him. Dodger, you fail to understand the unique arrangements between Jewish people and God.

To be frank, I find religion rather offensive.

either the gods are there whether you believe or not, or exist only as a function of the belief, so either way you might as well ignore the whole business...

I was just a kid then. But I won't forget. Nor will others. There's lots of people with reason to hate the Church.

Around the Godde there forms a Shelle of prayers and Ceremonies and Buildings and Priestes and Authority, until at Last the Godde Dies. Ande this maye notte be noticed.

In fact no gods anywhere play chess. They haven't got the imagination. Gods prefer simple, vicious games, where you Do Not Achieve Transcendence but Go Straight To Oblivion; a key to the understanding of all religion is that a god's idea of amusement is Snakes and Ladders with greased rungs.

Vimes was hazy on religion. He attended Watch funerals and went to such religious events as the proper fulfilling of the office of Commander entailed, but as for the rest . . . well, you saw things sometimes that made it impossible to believe not only in gods, but also in common humanity and your own eyes.

The gods had a habit of going round to atheists' houses and smashing their windows.

The Igor position on prayer is that it is nothing more than hope with a beat to it.

Don't put your faith in gods. But you can believe in turtles.

To tell you the truth, I'm something of an atheist.

An alternative, favoured by those of a religious persuasion, was that A'Tuin was crawling from the Birthplace to the Time of Mating, as were all the stars in the sky which were, obviously, also carried by giant turtles. When they arrived they would briefly and passionately mate, for the first and only time, and from that fiery union new turtles would be born to carry a new pattern of worlds. This was known as the Big Bang hypothesis.

No, when it came to avoiding going to church, the church he stolidly avoided going to was St. Cecil and All Angels, no-nonsense C. of E., and he wouldn't have dreamed of avoiding going to any other.

This Is Religion, Boy. Not Comparison Bloody Shopping! You Shall Not Subject Your God To Market Forces!

Building a temple didn't mean you believed in gods, it just meant you believed in architecture.

God does not play games with His loyal servants, said the Metatron, but in a worried tone of voice. Whoopee, said Crowley.

It was then that Marvin got religion. Not the quiet, personal kind, that involves doing good deeds and living a better life; not even the kind that involves putting on a suit and ringing' people's doorbells; but the kind that involves having your own TV network and getting people to send you money.

We borrow. We steal. We purchase what we need and buy what we don't. We acquire things, people, places, all in the process of losing ourselves. Busyness is the religion of distraction. I cannot talk to you, because I have too much to do.