Quotes About Unexpected

I am thankful for laughter, except when milk comes out my nose.

The loneliness comes to me in certain hours everyday, like a visitor. Like a friend you never expected, a friend you never really want to be with, but he always visit you and love you somehow,

Yes, karma propels us into all kinds of unexpected situations," His Holiness said. "This is another reason we should behave with love and compassion toward all living beings. We never know in what circumstances we will meet up with them again. Sometimes even in this same lifetime.

A life can get knocked into a new orbit by a car crash, a lottery win or just a bleary-eyed consultant giving bad news in a calm voice.

Was it the happiest day of our lives? Probably not, if only because the truly happy days tend not to involve so much organisation, are rarely so public or so expensive. The happy ones sneak up, unexpected.

unsettling, like seeing Stalin on a skateboard.

She could see the words Calvin Klein against the brown hair on the small of his back and it occurred to her that this was probably not at all what Calvin Klein had in mind.

WHEN you are creeping through the literary underbrush hoping to bag a piece of humor with your net, nothing seems funny," Russell Baker wrote in a preface to an anthology of American humor that he compiled. "The thing works the other way around. Humor is funny when it sneaks up on you and takes you by surprise." Yes

At dinner Astarte slipped a blob of mayo under a scoop of his ice cream.

Reminds me of a joke. A cowboy lost his Bible in the desert. A couple of months later a cow wanders over with a book in its mouth. The cowboy takes the book—it's his lost Bible. 'What a miracle; praise the Lord!' the cowboy exclaims. 'Not really,' says the cow. 'Your name is on the inside cover.

The odd thing about recurring dreams is that, no matter how many times you dream the same thing, it always takes you by surprise.

One boy dropped his trousers and did an almighty—!" "I don't need to know, thank you!" replied Stella, cutting the boy off.

the wind is scary.. during a tornado or in life in general.. never know when a gust is going to come in your direction and change everything

She sat one of the fluffy cats in my lap and stuffed the other down my shirt. She turned and left. 'There,' said the large man. 'The kittens will make your sad go away.

The phrase 'sodomized by a bratwurst poltergeist' suddenly flew through my mind.

Folding chairs were flying through the air as if propelled by dozens of invisible Bobby Knights.

For a moment, nothing. John was about to supply the "it's not working" when, with a wet, tearing KERRRAAAAACTCH sound, Molly exploded like a meat piñata at a birthday party for very strong, invisible children.

There was no head. What the— "LOOK! SHIT!" Franky's head was making a run for

A teenager stood there. Right in the middle of my living room, a space that had been proudly teenager-free for years.

I flung the gun at another one of the monsters, missed, hit an elderly man in a wheelchair instead, toppling him over.

I was hammered by either a flying body tackle or an unnecessarily aggressive hug.

With a bassy thump and a smell like burnt sulfur, Shitload farted himself far into the air.

You want to walk into that funeral and have every dude in that room whip their head around and say, 'God-damn them is some fine-ass titties. I got to find me a divorce lawyer in the next five minutes.

It was the pink elephant in the room, the thunderous fart in the elevator.