Quotes About Adversity

We used to sleep five to a bed and three of them used to wet the bed. I learnt to swim before I could walk.

Someone once said "The only thing that will be left after a nuclear holocaust is Cher and cockroaches." I think that's funny, because, you know, I am a survivor. If I am anything, that's what I am.

Gentlemen, we are being killed on the beaches. Lets go inland and be killed.

You can't always go to the well and have things be funny.

I hospitalized a rock, killed a brick...I'm so bad I make medicine sick!

If you lose your best cornerback and punter, I'd say that's a double loss.

Funny, that no matter where you are in the world, there's always someone eager to help you destroy yourself.

Of course there are certain things that get to me, but I try and lead by example and show people that, especially with haters, that you should just ignore them.

Disasters are funny to me. As a comedian you learn from failure, so I'm always trying to put myself in a situation that does not seem ideal for my comedy and see how it works.

Going into a game against Lew Alcindor [later Kareem Abdul-Jabbar] is like going into a knife fight and finding there's no blade in your handle.

Wolves never look more funny than when they have lost the scent and scrabble to find it again: they hop in the air; they run in circles, they plow up the ground with their noses . . . .

The haters always scream the loudest.

I'm not so much a dragon slayer, more a dragon annoyer -- I'm a dragon irritater.

It ain't the heat, it's the humility.

And the last thought he had that morning as he closed his eyes was: I hope the tornado hit the moose.

You've got to take the sour with the bitter.

You're damn right I do. I'm in Madison Square Garden getting the s*** knocked out of me

Do you know, it's funny, but I never thought of being blind as a disadvantage, and I never thought of being black as a disadvantage.

"Cracking the Ice" scores the literary equivalent of a hat-trick: funny, harrowing and finally, heartfelt. This book is a winner.

Being funny wasn't a career choice growing up, it was my way out of situations; a way to survive another day.

Otulissa swelled up to twice her normal size. 'Well, SPRINK ON YOUR SPRONK!

I had a tumor. But it was great.

We may not be all that bright, Jace said, but at least we are alive.

Everything went smoothly at the sailing events today, except for the British team. They forgot to bring limes and they all got scurvy.