Quotes About Resilience

As unsupported children, we have to dissociate because we are not able to effectively grieve.

Feeling is the antithesis of pain…the more pain one feels, the less pain one suffers" – Arthur Janov

The most expeditious way to get past an unpleasant emotional experience is to embrace it and to fully feel and express it.

How many tasks had I dared not attempt because I accepted their reverberating jibes that I was "good for nothing?

When inward tenderness Finds the secret hurt, Pain itself will crack the rock And, Ah! Let the soul emerge. — Rumi

I also like to apply "good enough" to other concepts such as a good enough job, a good enough try, a good enough outing, a good enough day or a good enough life. I apply this concept liberally to contradict the black-and-white, all-or none thinking of the critic which reflexively judges people and things as defective unless they are perfect.

Finally, positive visualization can be a powerful adjunct to thought-substitution. Some survivors gradually learn to short-circuit the fear-mongering processes of the critic by invoking images of past successes and accomplishments, as well as picturing safe places, loving friends or comforting memories.

Children who receive good enough parenting easily recognize and protect themselves from bullying and exploitive people because they do not have to become accustomed to being treated unfairly.

Well-adjusted has come to mean unaffected. – Theodore Rubin

10. Drasticizing/Catastrophizing/Hypochondriasizing. I feel afraid but I am not in danger. I am not "in trouble" with my parents. I will not blow things out of proportion. I refuse to scare myself with thoughts and pictures of my life deteriorating.

Survivors who want to defend their healthy ambivalence can respond to make-up-your-mind assaults by replying that the matter in question is emotional and clearly not a matter of reason or choice. I remember how my own natural

When we disburden ourselves of old unresolved traumas, energy wasted holding the past at bay becomes available for celebrating daily life.

Pain is excess energy crying out for release." – Gerald Heard

As I am writing this, my son's friend synchronistically tells him: "This Lego creature I made spreads brain attack and eats away at the person." I marvel at this synchronicity and think: "What a fitting image for the trauma-inducing parent".

They cauterized my feelings To stop the bleeding of my tears And now I drown alone inside A pool that's hemorrhaged for years.

I sometimes recommend that readers view the table of contents and start with whatever headings most strike a chord. Although the book is laid out in a somewhat linear fashion, everyone's journey of recovering is different, and journeys can be initiated in a variety of ways.

Bravery is, in my opinion, defined by fear. It is taking right action despite being afraid. It is not brave to do things that are not scary.

Neutral is especially important for flight types to cultivate.

One common sign of being flashed-back is that we feel small, helpless, and hopeless.

I am proud and right to see how they tried to murder my soul. I give them their shame back as disgust

We grieve the losses of childhood because these losses are like deaths of important parts of ourselves. Effective grieving brings these parts back to life. In this chapter we describe the healing that is available through the four practices of grieving: angering, crying, verbal ventilating and feeling.

We live in an emotionally impoverished culture, and those who stick with a long term recovery process

The only pain that can be avoided is the pain that comes from trying to avoid unavoidable pain.

Many abandoned children enter adulthood feeling that the world is a dangerous place where they are ill-equipped to defend themselves