Quotes About Emotional

belonging and being loved are core to the human experience. We are a social species; we are meant to be in community-emotionally, socially, and physically interconnected with others. If you look at the fundamental organization and functioning of the human body, including the brain, you will see that so much of it is intended to help us create, maintain, and manage social interactions. We are relational creatures.

You can't give what you don't have.

Humans are social animals, highly susceptible to emotional contagion. Training, logic, and intelligence are often no match for the power of groupthink.

While this doesn't mean that smart children need less affection, it does suggest that if they are deprived, brighter kids may be better equipped to cope.

The most traumatic aspects of all disasters involve the shattering of human connections.

until you heal the wounds of your past, you will continue to bleed.

The healthiest way to do this is through relationships. Connectedness regulates and rewards us.

Born for Love, about the essential nature of empathy.

Touch is as essential for healthy physical and emotional development as calories and vitamins. If infants aren't held or rocked—if they don't experience the loving warmth of a caregiver's touch—they won't grow. In fact, they can die.

In many ways, the result of our society's poverty of relationships is a form of social and emotional starvation. Our children are starving.

No one knows what a moderate dose of revisiting a trauma memory is better than the actual traumatized person.

Dr. Perry: It's like when you weren't aware of why you were afraid to be alone at night. You weren't aware of the associations you'd made earlier in your life. Our behaviors begin to shape themselves around the emotional landmines left by previous trauma.

In order to communicate rationally and successfully with anyone, you have to make sure they're regulated, make sure they feel a relationship with you, and only then try to reason with them.

ofrecerles una estructura, no rigidez; cariño emocional en lugar de afecto forzado.

When I'm around someone who drains me, I put up a barrier—a nonphysical wall that keeps that person's negative energy away.

Dismissive caregiving can lead to an unquenchable thirst for love. You cannot love if you have not been loved.

we find that the best predictor of your current mental health is your current "relational health," or connectedness. This connectedness is fueled by two things: the basic capabilities you've developed to form and maintain relationships, and the relational "opportunities" you have in your family, neighborhood, school, and so forth.

Activating your stress-response systems, even at a moderate level, for long periods of time is physically and emotionally exhausting.

when you experience trauma in the first years of life, meaning from birth through age two—before you've developed the ability to explain the event—it can have a deeper impact on your brain than when you actually do have the words to explain it.

A child exposed to unpredictable or extreme stress will become what we call dysregulated.

The long-term impact of being whupped—then forced to hush and even smile about it—turned me into a world-class people pleaser for most of my life. It would not have taken me half a lifetime to learn to set boundaries and say "no" with confidence had I been nurtured differently.

This isn't to suggest that therapy isn't helpful, but therapy without "connectedness" is not very effective.

What didn't happen for you? What attention, nurturing touch, reassurance—basically, what love—didn't you get? I realized that neglect is as toxic as trauma.

There was no time for nurturing. I was always trying not to bother her or worry her. My mother felt distant, cold to the needs of this little girl. All of the energy went to keeping her head above water, surviving. I always felt like a burden, an "extra mouth to feed." I rarely remember feeling loved. From as early as I can remember, I knew I was on my own.