Quotes About Emotional

This "gentle man" style of abuser tends to be highly self-centered and demanding of emotional catering. He may not be the man who has a fit because dinner is late but rather erupts because of some way his partner failed to sacrifice her own needs or interests to keep him content. He plays up how fragile he is to divert attention from the swath of destruction he leaves behind him.

An abusive man who is adept in the language of feelings can make his partner feel crazy by turning each argument into a therapy session in which he puts her reactions under a microscope and assigns himself the role of "helping" her. He may, for example, "explain" to her the emotional issues she needs to work through, or analyze her reasons for "mistakenly" believing that he is mistreating her.

Abusiveness is not a product of a man's emotional injuries or of deficits in his skills. In reality, abuse springs from a man's early cultural training, his key male role models, and his peer influences.

I wish I could somehow recover all those years I wasted waiting around for him to deal with his issues.

You can't take the leaps of vulnerability involved in working through early emotional injuries while you are feeling emotionally unsafe. Because you are emotionally unsafe. And if you succeed in acheiving greater intimacy with your abusive partner, you will soon get hurt even worse than before, because greater closeness means greater vulnerability for you.

Most people have an impulse to dump bad feelings on some undeserving person, as a way to relieve—temporarily—sadness or frustration. (..) The abusive man (..) considers himself entitled to use his partner as a kind of human garbage dump where he can litter the ordinary pains and frustrations that life brings us. She is always an available target.

When you are left feeling hurt or confused after a confrontation with your controlling partner, ask yourself: What was he trying to get out of what he just did? What is the ultimate benefit to him? Thinking through these questions can help you clear your head and identify his tactics.

And the most frequent response of all: "Jesus, I wouldn't do that. I would never do something like that to her.

I will tell him something one of the characters said and I can see he is ready to laugh even before I tell it, though so often, in the case of other subjects, he is not terribly interested in what I say to him, especially when he sees that I am becoming enthusiastic.

But in the case of the novel by Perec, who has no fewer than four e's in his own name, the deliberate elimination of the e was perhaps not just a conceptual antic but had an emotional source and an emotional effect.

A life well lived requires careful planning in order to balance the financial and the non-financial, the economic and the psychological, the rational and the emotional. Getting

Many deeply hidden memories have come flooding back. The important message here though is that it is possible to heal and survive. Everyone has survived their own kind of emotional or mental trauma. We all have our inner fears and misreplaced feelings of guilt.

I don't think it's right to unburden your own heart by laying the load on someone else's. Some secrets are better left untold.

But if the words struck her only lightly when she was nine, they stayed with her, gaining in density, to insinuate themselves whenever her performance fell short of perfection. They were less a mortification, she feared, than an actual statement of fact: B+ is all you deserve.

My ability to heal cannot be conditional on them wanting my forgiveness but only on my willingness to give it.

The exhausting manipulation and control it takes to protect an identity based on circumstances will crush our hearts and hide the best of who we are behind a wall of insecurity.

No amount of outside achievement fixes inside hurts.

In fact our brains respond so similarly to rejection and physical pain that Tylenol reduces the emotional pain rejection elicits.

A girl without a daddy felt to me like a girl without a place in this world. After all, if he couldn't love me, who would ever love me?

It's tough. And yet the Bible makes it very clear that we are to make time for rest. More than just physical rest, we need to take a spiritual and emotional rest from going our own way—literally. Once a week, we are to hit the pause button on life and guard a day of rest for our souls. Guard it fiercely and intentionally — even if the demands on our schedules beg us not to.

I tried to prop up what was left of me so I wouldn't collapse into the broken place inside. Good grades. Achievements and accolades. Fun friends and good times. Boys who made me feel special. I tried to steady myself with anything that helped me feel better.

Today's rejections, big or subtle, are like stealth bombs that zing straight to my core, locating hurts from my past and making them agonizingly present all over again.

As long as I suspect that honesty's intention is to expose me and hurt me, it will always feel like a dangerous thing.

Relationships nourish us in ways nothing else can. It's the relationships that help unrush us. Relationships can complicate things. But they also have the power to force us into a much simpler rhythm.