Quotes About Belonging

When we compare, we want to be the best or have the best of our group. The comparison mandate becomes this crushing paradox of "Fit in and stand out!" It's not be yourself and respect others for being authentic, it's "Fit in, but win." I want to swim the same workout as you, and beat you at it.

In an interview with Bill Moyers that aired on public television in 1973, Dr. Angelou said: You are only free when you realize you belong no place—you belong every place—no place at all. The price is high. The reward is great.

Embracing our vulnerabilities is risky but not nearly as dangerous as giving up on love and belonging and joy—the experiences that make us the most vulnerable.

We have to belong to ourselves as much as we need to belong to others. Any belonging that asks us to betray ourselves is not true belonging.

I think we have to question the intentions of any group that insists on disdain toward other people as a membership requirement. It may be disguised as belonging, but real belonging doesn't necessitate disdain.

The Latin paradoxum means "seemingly absurd but really true." True belonging is not something that you negotiate externally, it's what you carry in your heart. It's finding the sacredness in being a part of something and in braving the wilderness alone.

If shame is the universal fear of being unworthy of love and belonging, and if all people have an irreducible and innate need to experience love and belonging, it's easy to see why shame is often referred to as "the master emotion." We don't have to experience shame to be paralyzed by it—the fear of being perceived as unworthy is enough to force us to silence our stories.

Leading for true belonging is about creating a culture that celebrates uniqueness. What serves leaders best is understanding your players' best efforts. My job as a leader is to identify their unique gift or contribution. A strong leader pulls players toward a deep belief in themselves.

Never underestimate the power of being seen - it's exhausting to keep working against yourself when someone truly see and loves you....I was filled with grief and longing. Grief for the girl who never belonged anywhere and a longing to figure out who I was, what I liked, what I beloved in, and where I wanted to go.

Worthy now. Not if. Not when. We are worthy of love and belonging now. Right this minute. As is.

Shame keeps worthiness away by convincing us that owning our stories will lead to people thinking less of us. Shame is all about fear. We're afraid that people won't like us if they know the truth about who we are, where we come from, what we believe, how much we're struggling, or, believe it or not, how wonderful we are when soaring (sometimes it's just as hard to own our strengths as our struggles).

As people seek out the social settings they prefer—as they choose the group that makes them feel the most comfortable—the nation grows more politically segregated—and the benefit that ought to come with having a variety of opinions is lost to the righteousness that is the special entitlement of homogeneous groups.

help us create a culture of belonging at work.

Owning our story can be hard but not nearly as difficult as spending our lives running from it. Embracing our vulnerabilities is risky but not nearly as dangerous as giving up on love and belonging and joy—

Shame is the intensely painful feeling or experience of believing that we are flawed and therefore unworthy of love and belonging. 1

We are biologically, cognitively, physically, and spiritually wired to love, to be loved, and to belong. When

But the feeling of scarcity does thrive in shame-prone cultures that are deeply steeped in comparison and fractured by disengagement.

It will give you an idea of what's ahead: Wholehearted living is about engaging in our lives from a place of worthiness. It means cultivating the courage, compassion, and connection to wake up in the morning and think, No matter what gets done and how much is left undone, I am enough. It's going to bed at night thinking, Yes, I am imperfect and vulnerable and sometimes afraid, but that doesn't change the truth that I am also brave and worthy of love and belonging.

Choosing authenticity means cultivating the courage to be imperfect, to set boundaries, and to allow ourselves to be vulnerable; exercising the compassion that comes from knowing that we are all made of strength and struggle; and nurturing the connection and sense of belonging that can only happen when we believe that we are enough.

Every single one of us is someone else's other.

Belonging is the innate human desire to be part of something larger than us. Because this yearning is so primal, we often try to acquire it by fitting in and by seeking approval, which are not only hollow substitutes for belonging, but often barriers to it. Because true belonging only happens when we present our authentic, imperfect selves to the world, our sense of belonging can never be greater than our level of self-acceptance.

Have we created a space in our families where our kids know that they belong. Where there are no prerequisites for worthiness, you don't have to hustle here for me to believe you're worthy of loving. You don't have to perform here for me to think that you belong here. You don't have to be perfect. You don't have to get a certain grade on your test. You don't have to hit so many home-runs. You belong here.

we're a social species. That's why connection matters. It's why shame is so painful and debilitating. It's why we're wired for belonging.

if you want to see the ego go to DEFCON 1, get anywhere close to shame. What makes embracing vulnerability feel the most terrifying is how taking off the armor and exposing our hearts can open us up to experiencing shame. Our egos are willing to keep our hearts encased in armor, no matter the cost, if we can avoid feeling "less than" or unworthy of love and belonging.