Quotes About Stories

We either own our stories (even the messy ones), or we stand outside of them—denying our vulnerabilities and imperfections, orphaning the parts of us that don't fit in with who/what we think we're supposed to be, and hustling for other people's approval of our worthiness. Perfectionism is exhausting because hustling is exhausting. It's a never-ending performance.

The most dangerous stories we make up are the narratives that diminish our inherent worthiness.

Quoting Viola Davis) I will not be a mystery to my daughter. She will know me and I will share my stories with her—the stories of failure, shame, and accomplishment. She will know she's not alone in that wilderness.

Because we are compelled to make stories, we are often compelled to take incomplete stories and run with them.

In the absence of data, we will always make up stories.

In terms of teaching our children to dare greatly in the "never enough" culture, the question isn't so much "Are you parenting the right way?" as it is "Are you the adult that you want your child to grow up to be?" Our stories of worthiness—of being enough—begin in our first families.

The most difficult part of our stories is often what we bring to them—what we make up about who we are and how we are perceived by others. Yes, maybe we lost our job or screwed up a project, but what makes that story so painful is what we tell ourselves about our own self-worth and value.

Conspiracy thinking is all about fear-based self-protection and our intolerance for uncertainty. When we depend on self-protecting narratives often enough, they become our default stories

Like our lovability and divinity, we must care for and nurture the stories we tell ourselves about our creativity and ability. Just because we didn't measure up to some standard of achievement doesn't mean that we don't possess gifts and talents that only we can bring to the world. Just because someone failed to see the value in what we can create or achieve doesn't change its worth or ours.

Shame unravels our connection to others. In fact, I often refer to shame as the fear of disconnection - the fear of being perceived as flawed and unworthy of acceptance or belonging. Shame keeps us from telling our own stories and prevents us from listening to others tell their stories. We silence our voices and keep our secrets out fo the fear of disconnection.

Sometimes the most dangerous thing for kids is the silence that allows them to construct their own stories—stories that almost always cast them as alone and unworthy of love and belonging

Maybe stories are just data with a soul

We are good stewards of the stories we hear by listening, being curious, affirming, and believing people when they tell us how they experienced something.

Disengagement: Are people afraid to take risks or try new things? Is it easier to stay quiet than to share stories, experiences, and ideas? Does it feel as if no one is really paying attention or listening? Is everyone struggling to be seen and heard?

When we hear stories about shame that don't fit with our experiences, our first reaction is often to distance ourselves from the experiences—" My mother would never say that" or "I don't get women who don't enjoy sex" or "She's so naïve—her husband's a wacko." The distancing turns very quickly into blame, judgment and separation. This fuels the shame epidemic. Let

We should not test and build on theories that are just conjecture—especially when it comes to hypothesizing about underrepresented groups while knowing very little about their stories and lived experiences.

When it comes to vulnerability, connectivity means sharing our stories with people who have earned the right to hear them—people

Yes, we are all conspiracy theorists with our own stories, constantly filling in data gaps with our fears and insecurities.

When we hear stories about shame that don't fit with our experiences, our first reaction is often to distance ourselves from the experiences—"My mother would never say that" or "I don't get women who don't enjoy sex" or "She's so naïve—her husband's a wacko." The distancing turns very quickly into blame, judgment and separation.

The ring was real, the ring was fake. The ring was a symbol for everything, the ring was just a ring. All of these stories are true. None of these stories are true. More than one thing can be true at once.

In my childhood I could remember the whole week a damn sight better than I can now for all my family were in the Rising. And they told the stories to such good effect that I was in there with them… Now I have learned enough arithmetic to know that I could not possibly have taken part in an event which happened seven years before I was born, and it saddens me.

In the absence of data, we will always make up stories. In fact, the need to make up a story, especially when we are hurt, is part of our most primitive survival wiring. Mean making is in our biology, and our default is often to come up with a story that makes sense, feels familiar, and offers us insight into how best to self-protect.

People apparently only read mystery stories of any length. With mysteries, the longer the better, and people will read any damn thing. But the indulgent, 800-page books that were written a hundred years ago are just not going to be written anymore, and people need to get used to that.

We learned a verse of this and that and we were having fun with the songs. Tommy would make up stories to go along with them and I would yell at him, 'Hey, stupid, that's not right,' and he was like a silly kid trying to impress.