Quotes About Alcohol

One night a man is getting very drunk in a pub. He staggers back to the men's room to take a piss, whipping out his prick as he goes in the door. The problem is, he has wandered into the ladies' room by mistake, and surprises a woman sitting on the can. "This is for ladies!" she screams. "SO'S THIS," cries the drunk, waving his dick.

There is no evidence to show that prohibition has ever had its intended impact. Of course, just as banning beef has reduced beef consumption, banning alcohol will lead to reduced alcohol consumption. But, there appears to be little or no correlation between, say, domestic violence or household impoverishment and prohibition.

What in the world is a hangover cure?

I grew up in an environment where I could see the kind of havoc alcohol can create.

When I'm out with a group I hide in the corner and get legless. I just make sure my friends shield me.

The Seven Commandments: Whatever goes upon two legs is an enemy. Whatever goes upon four legs, or has wings, is a friend. No animal shall wear clothes. No animal shall sleep in a bed. No animal shall drink alcohol. No animal shall kill any other animal. All animals are equal.

He was conscious of nothing except the blankness of the page in front of him, the itching of the skin above his ankle, the blaring of the music, and a slight booziness caused by the gin.

The [Victory Gin] was like nitric acid, and moreover, in swallowing it one had the sensation of being hit on the back of the head with a rubber club. The next moment, however, the burning in his belly died down and the world began to look more cheerful.

No animal must ever live in a house, or sleep in a bed, or wear clothes, or drink alcohol, or smoke tobacco, or touch money, or engage in trade. All the habits of Man are evil. And, above all, no animal must ever tyrannize over his own kind. Weak or strong, clever or simple, we are all brothers. No animal must ever kill any other animal. All animals are equal.

The Outer Hornerites, deeply proud to be Outer Hornerites, staggered from wall to wall, overfilling their toluene receptacles and bellowing their national drinking song, "Large, Large, Large, Beloved Land (If Not the Best, Why So Very Dominant?).

It's not like I'm against alcohol. It's just a decision I made, and if you've never had it, you don't miss it. I've been drenched in champagne a few times over my career. I might have a drink if England win the World Cup. That's one moment where I might.

Taxes do have a clear record of curbing the consumption of, and thus the public-health impact of, tobacco and alcohol.

I don't drink alcohol at all except for special occasions. I definitely do think that it really takes a toll on your body over time, so it's something that I really try to stay away from.

Things, since you left, have not gone well with me: they have taken me from a place where there was gin to a place where there is no gin[.]

Sugar is a drug. We know that sugar interacts with reward systems in the brain in much the same way as addictive drugs. Studies have found rats fed sugar not only became addicted, but when they were denied it for a short period then later exposed to it, they binged on larger quantities of sugar—and other substances like alcohol.

Being drunk really brought out her inner vicious bitch.

The government runs the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco and Firearms, so they must know a thing or two about satisfying women.

today, suffering from drawn out hangover, the world ran dry. Bukowski died and one third of the world's winemakers will go broke.

sometimes it's the senseless feelings which overwhelm you, the despair and frustration which build to dangerous levels and the subsequent release, the cigarettes, alcohol, nameless fucks, nights spent in the drunk tank. the cats howling outside the window know this and they act accordingly.

This brew could make a dead eunuch piss lightning

A man walks into a bar with a giraffe and they proceed to get loaded. The giraffe drinks so much it passes out on the floor. The man gets up and heads for the door when the bartender yells, "Hey! You can't leave that lyin' there!" The drunk replies, "That's no lion! It's a giraffe.

Q: What's the difference between an Irish wedding and an Irish wake? A: One less drunk.

Jon can barely afford enough drink to forget how poor he is, and

Vodka has a huge history in Russia, in that it's almost like a currency. It's the one thing that keeps the country in the dark ages and having a rollicking good time.