Quotes About Awkwardness

Mom's eyes blazed. "Are you sleeping with her?" Oh, god. Did we have to do this here? Now? "Well, actually," I smirked, "we don't get a lot of sleep.

When you bump into your own mom at an orgy, it's hard not to get her to read into certain things.

Never underestimate a parent's ability to mortify his child.

En onmiddellijk daarop overrompelde mij de overtuiging van mijn eigen hinderlijkheid, wist ik hoe onmogelijk ik me had gemaakt, als een klein kind dat op visite is bij vreemden en op het tafelkleed kotst.

He looked like a man who'd invited himself to dinner only to discover that the special of the day was a plateful of shit.

This is the best thing about men's friendships: most any awkwardness can be ignored by mutual agreement and, true connection being unimaginable, you can get on with the easier business of parallel living.

Thank God genuine video phones hadn't been invented. I hadn't even grabbed a towel. Ford Prefect would despair of me.

Oh, god," I said. "Sorry, sorry. Do I die now?" --Sadie to Zia

I'm not very good at taking compliments. It's better than getting slapped in the face, I suppose.

It's the worst when you're kissing someone who's not a good kisser, and you're trying to make it look good, but you feel like you're just working on your own.

I was a shy, awkward sort of a boy and my fathers frequent absences from home, along with my hero worship for him, made me even shyer.

My balance is really bad. I just hope my clumsiness doesn't show through.

Never ignore the elephant in the room. That's rude

Pre-mature ejaculation. Let's talk about it. Premature ejaculation. That's a pretty fancy term for, "Ooooooh Oh no. This has never happened before."

I once went out with this girl, she was no bargain either, she showed up with pigtails under her arms.

I actually wrestled in high school. I was only in one match, and I lost... my virginity.

You can say, 'Can I use your bathroom?' and nobody cares. But if you ask, 'Can I use the plop-plop machine?' it always breaks the conversation.

Because you've been on dates where y'know, you forget to open your eyes and wear pants and speak English.

You can get through very serious and sometimes horrible and sometimes embarrassing and very awkward situations with humor. It gives us a way out.

Whenever I indulge my sense of humor, it gets me into trouble.

Head gear, plus acne equals...table for one in the cafeteria.

He hadn't said a word to me until we had been roommates for eight months. And even then it had only been, "You're wearing my socks.

Couldn't he have come out and greeted her like a civil human being instead of lurking from his kitchen while she shared a clearly intimate moment with his brisket?

There was no way to have a civilized conversation with that guy. It's like he was raised by giraffes or something.