Quotes About Self-esteem

Another way people with the fixed mindset try to repair their self-esteem after a failure is by assigning blame or making excuses.

In fact, in the fixed mindset, adolescence is one big test. Am I smart or dumb? Am I good-looking or ugly? Am I cool or nerdy? Am I a winner or a loser? And in the fixed mindset, a loser is forever.

there's only a razor's edge between self-confidence and hubris.

As a New York Times article points out, failure has been transformed from an action (I failed) to an identity (I am a failure). This is especially true in the fixed mindset.

In summary, people who believe in fixed traits feel an urgency to succeed, and when they do, they may feel more than pride. They may feel a sense of superiority, since success means that their fixed traits are better than other people's. However, lurking behind that self-esteem of the fixed mindset is a simple question: If you're somebody when you're successful, what are you when you're unsuccessful?

Your failures and misfortunes don't threaten other people's self-esteem. Ego-wise, it's easy to be sympathetic to someone in need. It's your assets and your successes that are problems for people who derive their self-esteem from being superior.

In fact, every word and action can send a message. It tells children—or students, or athletes—how to think about themselves. It can be a fixed-mindset message that says: You have permanent traits and I'm judging them. Or it can be a growth-mindset message that says: You are a developing person and I am committed to your development.

However, lurking behind that self-esteem of the fixed mindset is a simple question: If you're somebody when you're successful, what are you when you're unsuccessful?

Believing that your qualities are carved in stone—the fixed mindset—creates an urgency to prove yourself over and over. If you have only a certain amount of intelligence, a certain personality, and a certain moral character—well, then you'd better prove that you have a healthy dose of them. It simply wouldn't do to look or feel deficient in these most basic characteristics.

I've seen so many people with this one consuming goal of proving themselves—in the classroom, in their careers, and in their relationships. Every situation calls for a confirmation of their intelligence, personality, or character. Every situation is evaluated: Will I succeed or fail? Will I look smart or dumb? Will I be accepted or rejected? Will I feel like a winner or a loser?

Le enseñó que «hay una línea muy fina entre la confianza en uno mismo y la soberbia.

As soon as children become able to evaluate themselves, some of them become afraid of challenges. They become afraid of not being smart.

Think about someone you know who is steeped in the fixed mindset. Think about how they're always trying to prove themselves and how they're supersensitive about being wrong or making mistakes. Did you ever wonder why they were this way? (Are you this way?) Now you can begin to understand why.

Recuerda que en la mentalidad fija el esfuerzo no es causa de orgullo, sino algo que proyecta dudas sobre tu talento.

Sin embargo, había algo respecto a lo que era tajante: no toleraba a la gente que la hacía sentirse mal consigo misma.

failure has been transformed from an action (I failed) to an identity (I am a failure). This is especially true in the fixed mindset.

Por qué perder el tiempo demostrando una y otra vez lo bueno que eres, cuando podrías invertir esa energía en ser aún mejor? ¿Por qué ocultar las deficiencias, en lugar de superarlas? ¿Por qué rodearte solo de amigos o compañeros que alimenten tu autoestima en lugar de abrirte a otros que te reten a crecer? ¿Y por qué ir por el camino trillado en lugar de arriesgarte a vivir experiencias enriquecedoras?

Many females have a problem not only with stereotypes, it with other people's opinions of them in general. They trust them too much.

Uh-oh, it's the somebody-nobody syndrome. If I win, I'll be somebody; if I lose I'll be nobody.

failure has been transformed from an action (I failed) to an identity (I am a failure).

But as you can imagine, their confidence is more fragile since setbacks and even effort can undermine it.

It's no wonder that many adolescents mobilize their resources, not for learning, but to protect their egos. And

Philip: Gee, I'm so clumsy. Father: That's not what we say when nails spill. Philip: What do we you say? Father: You say, the nails spilled - I'll pick them up!

Boys are also constantly calling each other slobs and morons. The evaluations lose a lot of their power.