Quotes About Satire

Who can fail to mist at Fergie's anthem, 'My humps, my humps, my lovely lady lumps.' Hmmm. 'My lunch, my lunch, I swear it's coming up.

I had to start watching [ The Real Housewives of New Jersey ] every week because, well, my IQ was just too high. I mean seriously up there. What can I tell you? After watching every episode, I am now officially as dumb as that brown, particle-like stuff you find outside and don't want to track inside the house. Rhymes with "wirt", I think.

Why clone cats when there's perfectly good Russell Crowe lying around?

Two fundamental literary qualities: supernaturalism and irony.

INCEST, n. In many parts of the Bible Belt, the most popular form of dating

If I might offer any apology for so exaggerated a fiction as the Barnacles and the Circumlocution Office,

Humor is merely tragedy standing on its head with its pants torn.

[T]he satirist shoots to kill while the humorist brings his prey back alive. Swift destroyed the human race; Mark Twain and Thurber enabled it to go on. We human beings are all absurd variations of one another in any case, and this is what comedy of all kinds puts down on paper.

Comedy is simply a funny way of being serious.

...for a writer humor is a rubber sword — it allows you to make a point without drawing blood.

I've used up all my sick days so I'm calling in dead.

...the devil's aversion to holy water is a light matter compared with a despot's dread of a newspaper that laughs.

WEALTH. Any income that is at least $100 more a year than the income of one's wife's sister's husband.

Sarcasm is the sour cream of wit.

I'm allergic to stupidity — I break out in sarcasm.

There is no gravity. The earth sucks.

Sleep deprivation is my drug of choice.

A friend asked her doctor if a woman should have children after thirty-five. I said, "Thirty-five children is enough for any woman."

There is no gravity. The earth sucks.

Bush looked straight into the camera and said 'We must preserve the sanctity of marriage!' You know, straight people are doing such a fucking great job.

I only read books if Voltaire's cock has been dipped in red ink and rolled over the cover.

It struck me that working digitally with a small crew, I could lay out a general plan for Famous and hope for mistakes which would create something more than satire and something less than truthful reality.

Military intelligence is a contradiction in terms.

Military justice is to justice what military music is to music.