Quotes About Satire

Roll-over Carthage and Babylon! With the auspicious embarrassment that only great nations can achieve, America's twenty-first century that began with that Holy Trinity of turdsqueak popcorn farts; George W. Bush, Barack Hussein Obama and Donald Trump, is now being awarded an involuntary colonoscopy without an anesthesia by Comatose Joe Biden and his assistant, Willie Brown's second or third string wifey, Camilla Harris.

If you are not disturbing the peace, if you are not annoying the political scum, if you are not provoking the prevailing culture by making its sanctimonious arbiters of what is naughty and what is nice squirm in their sticky underwear, how can you possibly call yourself a satirist?

Satirists are merely impatient obituary writers.

Tristram Shandy may perhaps go on a little longer, but we will not follow him. With all his drollery there is a sameness of extravagance which tires us. We have just a succession of Surprise, surprise, surprise.

It is impossible to overestimate how humourless underpaid journalists can be.

Dick Cheney said he was running again. He said his health was fine, 'I've got a doctor with me 24 hours a day.' Yeah, that's always the sign of a man in good health, isn't it?

You have Kim Jong Il, and you have his brother, Menta Lee Il.

I'm not the guy to ask about politics. I'm a gag writer.

If God had meant for us to walk, why did he give us feet that fit car pedals?

Thank God I'm an atheist.

I used up all my sick days, so I'm calling in dead.

Africa is God's country, and He can have it.

Michele Bachmann says God made the earthquake and hurricane to punish us. Untrue - he made Michele Bachmann for that.

A Christian will say... "I believe God created me in one day" Yeah, looks liked He rushed it.

One of the most evil dispositions possible is that which satirizes and turns everything to ridicule. God abhors this vice, and has sometimes punished it in a marked manner

If there is a god, I think he has a sense of humour. He does not require human beings to protect him from satire.

Ever notice that people who believe in creationism look really unevolved? Eyes real close together, big furry hands and feet. "I believe God created me in one day." Yeah, looks like he rushed it.

Most Englishmen are convinced that God is an Englishman, probably educated at Eton.

God is a Republican, and Santa Claus is a Democrat.

When God created Republicans, he gave up on everything else.

Comedy [deals] with a lot of the same areas where our defenses are the strongest - race, religion, politics, sexuality.

God, that Anthony Jeselnik Show sounds really funny.

Thank God for Occupy and thank God for 'The Daily Show,' Colbert and the rising up that's going on around the world.

In the next election, I'm voting for your mom to be the next God.