Quotes About Satire

Sia lodato Gesù Cristo, disse Don Biffero. Love me tender, rispose Don Fender.

Perché le idee (sventagliata) sono come le tette; se non sono abbastanza grandi si possono sempre gonfiare (risate).

I like to make fun of Jeffy [of Family Circus] the most, because I know the grown-up Jeff Keane personally and enjoy ridiculing him.

Christianity is the best way to cure gayness—just get on your knees, take a swig of wine, and accept the body of a man into your mouth.

I like the fact of John McCain's head being severed. Like that it will fit so much more nicely up George Bush's butt!

I guess 14% plus Jesus equals victory

That's not a religion, that's Pokemon.

That's why our TVs are brimming with so much hot man-on-pan action. You can't channel surf for long without seeing turkey getting stuffed over and over until they finally cut to the gravy shot.

If you're saying farewell to your arms, what do you use to wave goodbye?

It's August, which means Congress is on recess and Mitch McConnell has shimmied back into the ocean to seek a mate.

I shall sustain a massive erection, that's what, and I shan't be answerable for the consequences. Some kind of ejaculation is almost bound to ensue and if either of you were to become pregnant I should never forgive myself.

If I'll be funnier than this, I'll become a joke.

Satirists gain the applause of others through fear, not through love.

I do love poop. I can't help it. The heart wants what it wants. I enjoy being clever and pithy and political, but nothing's going to get me like dumb stuff.

I was ecstatic they re-named 'French Fries' as 'Freedom Fries'. Grown men and women in positions of power in the U.S. government showing themselves as idiots.

The KKK adopted a highway. The joke is on them: It's black.

I've been to Canada, and I've always gotten the impression that I could take the country over in about two days.

I've been to Canada, and I've always gotten the impression that I could take the country over in about two days.

I celebrated Thanksgiving in an old-fashioned way. I invited everyone in my neighborhood to my house, we had an enormous feast, and then I killed them and took their land.

If "con" is the opposite of pro, then isn't Congress the opposite of progress? Or did we just fucking blow your mind?!?

To have not shot his friend in the face would have sent a message to the quail that America is weak.

The fact that the Kardashians could be more popular than a show like 'Mad Men' is disgusting. It's a super disgusting part of our culture, but I still find it funny to make a joke about it.

Listen Charles, if blondes were poison, I'd have died thirty years ago.

Ask not what you can do for your country. Ask what's for lunch. Orson Welles