Quotes About Penises

she hated that the dress would give the network an opportunity to deduct more IQ points, though why people seemed to think large breasts destroyed gray matter, she didn't know. Especially when it was clear that men often thought with their penises and bypassed their brains altogether.

Please put your penises away, gentlemen. Dinner is procured. By a woman.

What do you do?" "I make custom penises." Casey tapped the palm of his hand, beaming Paladin the address of a server packed with information on how to design and order the sex organs you'd always wanted.

You should be more careful out there," the doctor says. "You have a dangerous job. I mean, do you see men doing it?" "Of course not!" Young-sook exclaims. "The world knows that the cold water will cause their penises to shrivel and die." The doctor shakes her head and laughs.

Why was she doing that?" I asked cautiously. "Collecting penises?" "Some people collect stamps, she collected penises. Many of us did in those days. Anyway, he consulted me—through a clairvoyant, of course, as I was no longer in that earthly incarnation. I told him to complain to the authorities, so he did, and she was forced to give the penis back.

In medieval times there was great anxiety over the belief that witches liked to steal penises and keep them as pets.

Five guys are in a bar getting pretty sloshed when they start to discuss the size of their penises. Soon the conversation escalates into a full-blown argument, each man insisting that his penis is the biggest. "Put them on the bar so we can compare," suggests the bartender. The drunks do just that. Shortly, a gay man comes in, looks around, and says to the bartender, "I think I'll have the buffet.

When Ascyltes, loaded down with all these woes, was falling asleep, the maid he had rejected and insulted rubbed the whole of his face with a generous quantity of ash. He felt nothing, and she went on to paint graffiti-style penises on his shoulders and sides.

If he's at this party, I want you to stay far away from him." "Shouldn't that rule apply to you, and Jules, too? Unless your penises make you magically bulletproof.

All the accoutrements of a major construction site are here, plus a few extras, like two monkeys with giant stiff penises fighting over some booty from a Dumpster, but there is no construction site.

The quarterback? Wow. My mom wouldn't let me stand in the same checkout line as a high school senior. She's so lame. She's not lame. She thinks eighteen year old boys are dangerous. She calls them penises with hands and feet. Tell me that isn't lame.

Hermaphroditic species such as flatworms go to bizarre lengths to avoid being inseminated, fighting pitched battles with their penises, their semen burning gaping holes in the vanquished. This is lively natural history, but it is circular as an argument, as it takes for granted that there are greater biological costs to being female.

Why be uptight about bowel movements and sex? We all have sex. We all have penises -- except for those of us who have vaginas.

The paper does not provide the exact number of penises eaten by ducks, but the author says there have been enough over the years to prompt the coining of a popular saying: 'I better get home or the ducks will have something to eat.