Quotes About Wife

My breath is offensive to my wife; I am loathsome to my own brothers.

A quarrelsome wife is as annoying as constant dripping on a rainy day. Stopping her complaints is like trying to stop the wind or trying to hold something with greased hands.

Heaven is an American salary, a Chinese cook, an English house, and a Japanese wife. Hell is defined as having a Chinese salary, an English cook, a Japanese house, and an American wife.

I know a baseball star who wouldn't report the theft of his wife's credit cards because the thief spends less than she does.

Memory is what tells a man that his wife's birthday was yesterday.

In the next picture, Reagan is saying, "Haley, have I ever told you the one about the two Episcopal preachers?" "No, sir, Mr. President." "One of the preachers said to the other, 'Times have really changed, haven't they? I never had sex with my wife before we were married, did you?' "And the other Episcopal priest said, 'I don't know, what is your wife's maiden name?

Workaholicism is such a tough addiction to get over. I had to divorce my wife because she was an enabler.

A Polish guy locked his keys in the car. It took an hour to get his wife out.

People say Yogi (Berra) is a strange guy, and I've heard Yogi say some funny things. But he has a beautiful wife, he's rich, and he's famous. I don't see anything strange about that.

If God had a wife He would be in just as much trouble as any man.

My wife is the most wonderful woman in the world and that's not just my opinion - it's hers.

I often think about my future wife and how lax she's been about getting in touch with me.

I have the best wife and six wonderful children. And I'm proud to report that my future will always be bright with the family that I have.

I've often wanted to drown my troubles, but I can't get my wife to go swimming.

With my wife I don't get no respect. I made a toast on her birthday to 'the best woman a man ever had.' The waiter joined me.

The consumer isn't a moron; she is your wife.

Adam laid himself down in Paradise to sleep While from him was taken a wife to keep. Adam poor father of creations best Your first taste of sleep was your last of rest.

A good woman would rather be the mother of a genius than the wife of a hero.

A psychiatrist is a fellow who asks you a lot of expensive questions your wife asks for nothing.

Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.

I recently read that love is entirely a matter of chemistry. That must be why my wife treats me like toxic waste.

Every mother hopes that her daughter will marry a better man than she did, and is convinced that her son will never find a wife as good as his father did.

You can be cool and at the same time respect your woman, who will hopefully become your wife, who will hopefully become the mother of your kids. America needs to get back to family values.

How can a Man respect his Wife when he has a contemptible Opinion of her and her Sex?